I have been thinking, why do i need such a long time to decide what i should write in the bdae card when he doesn't even gif it a farking damn? Why did i spend such a long time thinking of what should i give him for his bdae? Why should i even consider even buying Oakley stuffs fer him? Why should i do all this when i'm nobody to him?

Talked in MSN with Jean earlier on. Can feel she was realli angered by my actions. I told her what i wrote in the bdae card and she asked me why did i write all dose? I told her i just wanted a last hope. I also don't know why the hell did i keep giving myself false hopes when deep down inside, i know he won't ask me back. She told me, if he wanted to ask me back, he would have done so long ago. If he really loves me, he wouldn't have ignored me for months.

I guess what she said makes sense too.

Now, i just hafta get the damn bdae card sent out. Though i know he wun reply by any means to me. I know he won't reply, but what i need is just some confimation on his part to make me give up. So now what he have to do, is NOT to reply to me. And there, i will be on the road in no time.

I realise with each passing day, the more i have no idea as to his life. The more i am getting used to the life of being single and the days without him. The more i fall back into the pit, e more faster i am able to get out compared to the last.

Time spent on grieving is time lost on enjoying other things.

P/s : Going fer a KTV session with moi mother. I hope it cheers me up. FCUKING bdae card, just get away from me and go into that MAIL!!