Captured in my memory.

I miss my grandmother. My sweet grandmother with a nice temper who speaks Hokkien. My grandmother who holds my little hand and send me to kindergarten for classes every afternoon.

She loves to stick a small flower onto the bun hair. She grew all those flowers with sweet scent outside our unit at my previous house CCK. She loves to spread a mat and lie on the floor to watch television.

I used to buy those cigarettes on behalf of her from the provision shop downstairs. I remembered it comes in huge packs. It looks like dry grass wrapped in paper.

I used to scream and cry whenever i found her missing by my side because i was so attached to her. I scream and i stamp my foot on the floor and scream at my mother to wake up and call to check with the relatives where is my AH MA! As it turns out, she was staying overnight at Shirley's place, but the moment she heard me crying, she promised to rush back asap. I'm sorry for being so rebellious.

I can't remember much of you, but i do know i miss you very much.

She was admitted to hospital when there was blood in her urine. She refused to go to the hospital but i remembered my daddy insisted she go to the hospital for a thorough check up. The whole family 4 of us, were sitting on the van, on the way to the hospital, i felt as though she was never going to come back. Yes, it was this feeling which made me look at her and hold her hands like she was going to part with us forever.

I can't remember the details. But i remembered the nurses tying her up with white cloth around the hospital bed because she was trying to get up and go home, when she obviously has to stay in hospital for observation. At that instant, i felt a sharp pain in my heart and i cried.

The last minute of your life, i wasn't by your side.

The ignorant me was still outside your ward, happily playing away. I wanted so much to go inside and bid farewell to you, but i can't. The adults doesn't allow me to go in, saying that it was inauspicious and not very nice for children to see these kind of things.

She passed away when i was in Primary 1.

It's so heartwarming to look at her photos and the things she left behind.

You'll always be in my memories. Forever and ever. Nothing ever changes.

I love you.