Heavy head.

Head is so heavy, but well, guess i have no choice but to continue studying for E-Commerce. Ngee Ann students are so pitiful compared to TP and SP students. But well, i shan't say it this way since they had their fair share of hardship too. :p

Nway, lemme tell you about what happened just now which i think was really amusing. At least, to myself.

I was hungry for some food, so went to the fridge and dig for some edible stuffs. TA-DA! Found a box of pizzas, tuna pizzas. Looked at the instruction menu behind and started tearing the box and shoving the pizza into the microwave. Set the time to 2 minutes.

And . . .

I ran back to my room to hide, while screaming "BAO ZA ar!!!!" which means explosion.

Then went out again on hearing the " di di " sound.

Ate a mouthfuls of it, wasn't really the ideal pizza, shoved it into the microwave again. And ran into my room while covering my ears screaming, that it wouls explode any moment. And my brother was like staring at me as if i was crazy.

And ate a mouthfuls, put it back into the microwave for another 2minutes for fun.

And it became "chao tah", as hard as a biscuit. Threw the whole thing into the dustbin and began grumbling to my brother.

So he had no choice but to go down and buy "YI MEE" & Rojak for me cos i was screaming i was hungry all the time. What a good brother right? *pats myself* Must be all the mesmerizing smiles i have been giving him! It works! Hahaha, just joking.

Anyway, ignore this entry.

I think i'm crazy. No doubts about it.

-Back to EC-

Faults in OM paper.

I screwed my Operations Management. *yipee*

My inner voice was constantly talking inside me. Forcing myself to concentrate doing the paper. But for some reasons which i don't know for goodness sake WHAT, i just can't seem to concentrate. And information i memorised seems to be "leaking" bit by bit.

I realised i have quite a few faults in the paper.

But you know what, who cares?

It's over and that's what i'm concerned about.

Tuition's at 7.30pm for Janelle. Getting my $120 today! *yipees* Btw, Auction seems to be in "IN" thing nowadays. But somehow, it scares me. The idea of auctioning items seem interesting, but there's also the risk of payment procedures wise. It just doesn't sound very appealing to me YET, but it's starting to get interesting. =)

Took notice of some really lovely earrings from Urban Outiftter. Gosh. *smiles*

Hyren and Me

As promised!

Below is a picture of me & Hyren & Zamantha. Lovely kids.

Going to collapse from memorising theoretical stuffs.

AAA paper down. 3 more to go.

lOSING FOCUS SOON.

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears '
cause your only almost here

-Delta Goodrem featuring Brian Mcfadden, "Almost here".

It's my favourite song at the moment.

Heart turns chilly when i heard that, reminding myself of how i feels out of this world, and completely "there's only me in this world" feeling. But sometimes, i love that feeling. It makes me independent more.

I did a foolish thing just now. And it's making myself more confused than ever.

When will i ever stop?

Ok, on to the good side, I was so happy just now! Janelle got 100 marks for her Spelling test yet again! I knew she was a genius. She just needed some guidance and reminders! So happy! And i hope Hyren can get 100 marks for his Spelling test too, since Janelle and Hyren's Spelling is the same. Both from CCK primary school. And both are Phillipinos! What a coincidence!

Btw, in case some of ur don't know. I'm teaching another 2 kids. Hyren and Zamantha. Hyren is a P1 restless lil boy while Zamantha is a K1 shy lil mei mei. They were actually Szewei's students, but since Szewei had no time so she passed her assignments to me. Hyren got 100marks for 4 times the previous tuition, and Melissa(Hyren's mum) was so happy, i could tell.

Shall post Hyren's pic when i have the time yeah? Took his picture the last tuition, but haven't transferred it to my laptop yet. I shall post it next week!

Monday's the start of my exams. BOO HOO HOO!

Suddenly feel like eating steamboat, Influenced by Siew Teng. OH NO!!!!

Busy busy busy.

Feels as though i haven't surfed net for a long time, when it's only a day. *schmiles*

Shouldn't be sitting here at this moment, should be on my way to Janelle's place for tuition. But Joy(Janelle's mum) msg me just now saying that the tuition was cancelled. *Phew* At least i wasn't on my way out, if not i'll sure grumble and curse like hell. Hoping that she'll at least notify me earlier if there's tuition tonight. *crossing fingers* Bad part about tutoring kids. It's such a hassle.

Later meeting Grace for lunchie at CWP and then we'll proceed to the library for some serious studying. Will be touching on my E-commerce. Don't really have the mood to study. NO MOOD! NO FOCUS! And i don't know why. Feels as though my heart wants to study, but my mind is always drifting off to some wonderland after 1 min of studying. And i'll only realise this after another 1 minute. And then i'll calm myself down by walking around for 5 mins. Eat and drink for another 10mins. And THERE, i have wasted a HELL lotsa time.

Sometimes, i'm really pissed with myself.

OH! And did i mention there's a Good Friday Event this saturday @ German Center! And our cell group is performing! And i'm getting all jittery and nervous right now by just thinking of it. I'll be singing a short solo, and then i'll be doing the -ah-ca-pe-lla- or whatever you call it with the rest of their beautiful voices. I'm really really nervous. HOW HOW!! Anyway, Celine will be playing the guitar and i think she's really a talent! Teaching me how to sing, and guiding me along! WAY TO GO SISTA!

Anyone wanna go? Jiewei, u'll be coming along right? Manping? ZhiYuan?

I think i would better go get my bag and books ready. If not i'll be late again and Grace will grumble again. Oopsie. *grins*

Anyway, Yesterday night, called through Perfect 10 987 FM and dedicated a song.

Me: Hi Carrie, can i dedicate a song?
Carrie: Yups sure, what's ur name?
Me: Cindy
Carrie: Ok, hold on a while ar, we'll put u in recording soon.
Me: Ok
Carrie: So what are you doing?
Me: Still studying.
Carrie: Where?
Me: Ngee Ann Poly
Carrie: So what course are you from?
Me: Business Studies.
Carrie: How long before you graduate?
Me: Errr, i still have a year more to go.
Carrie: No BOYFRIEND AR?
Me: Eh, don't have...
Carrie: Ok.. Hahaha.. So what song would u like to dedicate?
Me: Lovers and Friends by Lil Jon?
Carrie: Ok sure, going out to?
Me: All my classmates who are still mugging now.. Ya.. Err That's all..

THEN COMES THE FUNNY PART!

She played...the song....

-Who let the dogs out?-

So it goes... WHO LET THE DOGS OUT! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!

Almost fainted when i heard that. People might think i'm crazy, study until i'm crazy, played such a SONG! *faints*

damn it.

Can't help but to feel sad, as my source of luxury is taken away from me one by one.

Even though i earn a teenie weendy lil income, i can't spend on myself. I can't buy clothes, i can't spend on restuarants, i can't do this, i can't do that. All the teenies weenies lil $ goes to the stupid idiotic dumbo bills.

And now, there's no SCV for me to watch anymore.

DARNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Simplicity vs Complicated

I have begun to show interest in simple looking blog skins.

Simple will do.

Simplicity makes me happy.

Not like this complicated world.

A world which is beyond my grasp, my reach.

Eski Bar

I'm dead beat. I'm lifeless. I'm a puppet controlled by the TV.

Not much mood to start studying for my exams. And MIND YOU! It's exams this time round, not some tests anymore. Although it's freaking me out, but somehow doesn't seem to motivate me much. Or perhaps my whole mind & heart is with 'Date with Vampire 3" Vcds. Anyone wanna slap me, i'll pay you some hard cash.

Dad failed his 2 tests, passed 3 other tests. Really hope he can pass this time round, and get the taxi licence and start working. If not, bills are going to get choked up very very soon. And i'm really seriously praying that it won't happen. If not, i don't know what will happen.

Anyway, more to the joyous side, went to Orchard with Grace, ST and Chongling. Intended to watch Winnie the Pooh movie, but i'm really sorry girls. Caused them to cancel the movie date just because i have another appointment with Sabrina and Pekhar later on at Holland Village. We'll go and watch some day soon ya? I promise! *geez, lemme give ur some kisses*

Went to a beautiful and relaxing place to chill out with Sabrina and Pekhar. It was relaxing alright, with the big sponge-like pillow lying against my back. It was a cushion seat-on-e-floor based type of cafe named Essential and Brews. Really regretted not taking any photos since my phone was low batt this afternoon. It's really a nice lil chill out place.

Anyway, there's this pub named Eski Bar ard Tanjong Pagar. It's a super duper cool pub. It's divided into 2 areas, with 1 area -SMOKING AREA- having a temperature of a normal air conditioned room while the other area is 0 degrees. Concept is very creative and innovative, by a lady who is one of the owners of a company which has opened 30 other pubs. Main objective is to get people to come wearing their winter wear since it has been observed that most women in Singapore has winter wear, but does not have the chance to wear it. And also due to the fact that women is more able to relax in a pub like this since it doesn't make us sweat like hell, and it's super cooling inside which definately is good for our skin. No cover charge, the only drawback is drinks are slightly more expensive only.

Fear not, if you do not have winter wear! You can request for a jacket anytime from their staff! It's super duper cool. Never heard of a pub like this in Singapore. Really worth a visit. Some forum mates who visited it has came back with lotsa and endless praises! Decoration is beautiful, like eskimo.

Anyway, why am i promoting for them? I'm too excited. Sorry about it. Yeapz, definately going after my exams with my dearest cousin Gwen! Really hope she won't be too stressed with her fashion projects. Definately loves moi coussies like Xiaohan, Shirley and Gwen a lot alot!

Seriously no mood to study. I'm going to sleep now. ZzZzZ. Good night.

A short poem.

I am the mist of the passion,
flowing from the ocean.
Gaze into the moonlight,
and float away with me.

Somehow it just blends perfectly into what i'm feeling now.

Stars were above me when i looked up yesterday night.
With my 2 dogs running ahead of me.
Somehow, these shiny glittering stars comforted my soul.

Looking beyond the universe, i felt as though i can see my Father in Heaven.

Thank you for being here always with me.

Baptism.

I'm feeling great today. So light, carefree, cheerful and peace within my soul.

I think i'll b getting baptized, along with Shiling aka Ella and Peixuan.

Will be attending classes to prepare us for the water baptism on sunday. Not exactly sure when my baptism will be held, but i hope it will be soon. I'm getting to be so excited about my creation of a new life.

All these while, my faith and trust in Jesus my Lord has never been defeated and forgotten. Huiling came to shared with us about Baptism, and encouraged us get baptized. Actually wanted to get baptized but din really place serious thoughts on it. She asked when was the point when i decided to become a Christian? I told her there was a point in my life when i was depressed and very devastated, and coincidentally Peixuan invited me to her church and from then now, been attending church until now. Also, must thanks Shirley for inviting me to CHC for service, accepted Chris at CHC but was quite blurred at that time. It was at WAC when i really wanted to move closer and build on my faith in God.

I still remembered my parents sending me to sunday school for classes when i was young. I wanna thank my parents so much so so so much, for letting me have the chance to interact with other kids and Christian kids. I still vaguely remembered them coming for my performance at my sunday school, clapping and watching me proudly from afar. Still remembered them giving me all the Christian kids storybooks to read when i grew older a bit. I had a whole box or two of them. Actually it was my cousin's books, but he outgrown it so my mum gave me to read.

At that time, i was amazed by the things that God had done to these lil kids. And the miracles he performed on some of them. I was totally amazed, but at the same time, i was a bit confused too as to whether these facts are true. But no one could really answer my doubts since my whole family was non-christian. Kept it to myself until i finished primary school and moved on to secondary school.Sometimes, I will pray to Jesus in the nightime, telling him about some of my deepest felt emotions, and asking for his blessings.

Moved on to a Catholic secondary school which worshipped Mother Mary. There will be prayers done every morning during assembly. All i could remember was, "Give us today our daily bread, and forgive us for our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. . . . In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit" But i did not prayed along with them, for i was not a Catholic, but i prayed in my heart.

I realised i have been in contact with Jesus all along. All along, he had been there for me. It's probably just that i did not know or did not attempt to know. I wanna thank God so much for bringing me through all these, and letting me know that he indeed cares for me. Lord i wanna thank you for all these. Praise Lord! I wanna thank you for giving me such supportive parents.

I informed my parents that i wanted to get baptized and that this baptism will be happening very soon. And they kind of supported me in a way, making sure that i had thought through all these carefully. Asked my dad to go for my water baptism session, he asked me when is it? So happy! :) Lord, gracious Lord, thank you for making this happen in my life!

Just received attachment letter. I'm being posted to F&N COCA COLA SINGAPORE at Jalan Ahmad Ibrahmin from 4th April 2005 to 22nd May 2005. Which means i only get to rest a day after my last paper, and i gotta start work already. But i'm sure God will bring me through this. Glad i only work 5 days a week, starting from 815am to 5.33pm. Weird timing isn't it? Got to go for a briefing session before i get to know more about it ya? And i'll update in my lil lil bloggie.

Btw, anyone wants to join us for Good Friday event? My cell group will be performing. Peixuan me Ella Pekhar Celine Sab will be singing a song. Sounds so SHE, just like the day when the 7 of us with zu'er, jessie and manping sang a SHE song on stage at Vincent Hall on Teacher's Day in AES. *hiaks* So fun. It will be held on 26th March (Saturday) at German Center WAC. Xiaohan and Shirley and Grace teoh and Jean, Wanna come? Xiaohan ask ur sister wanna come bo? Then i can ask my brother along!

Let's continue to pray for Celine and Pekhar and Grace.

Going to sleep now, if not, i'll be late for service tml.*Ciaoz*

p/s: hopes that my sickness will go away soon.

Howl's Moving Castle.

I watched ''Howl's Moving Castle''. It was very entertaining with the springing of surprises in between, and the adventurous journey which was accompanied by soothing music. I discovered i completely sank into fantasy the moment the movie started, glue-ing my eyes to the screen, and sharing the emotions that the characters felt. I loved Jap animes! *5 stars* Pekhar : Go watch go watch!

I still remembered someone lend me ''Sprited Away''. Was so captured by the show that i promised myself to buy the DVD/VCD. Now, i have decided to buy ''Howl's Moving Castle'' and ''Spirited Away'' DVDs. Anyone willing to sponsor me? Your can call me. *smirks*

Oh yeah, din mention who i went to watch with.

A mysterious guy.

Just joking!

Went to watch with Grace and ST since we were thinking of where to go after EC lecture. Grace had bible study at 730pm, ST's tutoring a kid at 6pm, and i was tutoring Janelle at 730pm. So decided to watch a movie after much consideration, thanks to me! Kept going on and on about how good the movie was, until they were tempted to go too. *woohoo* Anyway, i'm glad u girls enjoyed the movie! If not, i'll surely be dead by now. Really enjoyed times with you girls.

Went to Metro to shop a while, we took a few dresses and decide to proceed to the changing room to take pictures, thanks to my wonderful idea. Hahahaha. Really strange to see us in dresses uh? Especially our dearest Miss Grace Teoh! *hugz* You 2 look wonderful in dresses!






Proceeded to Library to borrow some books with Grace. She borrowed some track magazines, while i borrowed a ''Just friends'' romance book by Robyn Sisman. It's really thick with the font size set to small, but i enjoy reading it quite a lot.

Still feeling feverish and a bit of cough. Don't worry, i'll eat my medicine and be a good girl!

- @lone @t home -

You know it's really bizzare the way things work.

I posted some pictures of me and him.

But somehow, it din get published.

Or rather, i can't find the entry i posted 1 min ago.

Is this some implication?

Perhaps something is telling me to stop searching.

Just freaking type a new entry and get on with life.

Which means forget everything, find a good guy and get on with life.

It seems pretty freaky.

I'm back i'm back!

Finshed ECD and Marketing presentation @ one shot todae. YAY!

Was really mentally tired after the presentation finishes, dragged myself to Lot 1 to get the "promised" butterfly erasers for Janelle for tuition tml. She's getting really naughty, lying to me that there's no spelling and stuffs like that. Though it makes me mad, but i got to deal with it using a more kiddy approach. Told her the story about Peter and the wolf and Pinnochio. She seems a lil embarrassed. And i'm not going to stop telling her stories until she stops lying. *Weesh* Not an easy task teaching a P1 kid. Besides teaching her Chinese, i have got to instill in her the right values.

Mum called 3 times to ask me to buy bread and drinks. And i was like "HELLO? HAH? OK BYE.." inside Popular for 3 times. *LOL*

It's really nice shopping on my own though i can hate it at times.

Sore throat again, feel like ripping out my throat.

I'm so pissed.

I can't find my AAA notes.

And to think that i have tutorial later.

Okie.

I'm super pissed now.

****

Who may ascend the hill of Lord?
Who may stand in his holy place?

He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his hands to an idol
or swear by what is false.

~PSALMS 24:3-4

Encouraged by the word of God as i read 'Every Day with Jesus' - For New Christians small booklet. Wanted to sleep, but decided to got up to read. I'm glad i made that decision.

Finished half of the powerpoint, and tml got to wake up earlier to glue the beads onto the jeans. Supposed to ask my mother to sew on my behalf for my project, but decided not to. Since the beads were so small, and i think she can't see properly since she already can't place the thread into the needle. It would be too taxing on her eyes.

Went to watch 'Hitch' with my cell group[Sabrina, Si'er, Ella, Pekhar, Peixuan] at WM. Had some great laughs but still dying to watch 'Howl's moving castle' with some of them i hope and Manping. [Manping] When will you be driving us out? Kekeke. Just realised some of the songs sung by Elva and Zhang Zhi Chen are composed by Si'er & Wayne. He doesn't look like someone who would compose songs man.

Anyway the way Si'er drove almost makes me laugh everytime. Almost always bumped onto that hump with 5 or 6 of us sitting inside his car. Although we had to squeeze like sardine, i love my CELL GROUP! No links right? But anyway, just wanna say LOVE EM TO BITS AND PIECES!

Oh shoot, Pekhar's going Germany this april for attachment! I'll be a lonely girl without my bestie sweetie best best girl friend around. Please wash your jeans okie? Hahahaha. :( Please don't be toooo happy after seeing this hor! And remember to lend me that book!

Gonna have 3 presentations this coming week. Marketing, Entrepreneurship & E-Commerce.

I guess i have more or less able to embark on the journey towards a new future now. I realised i haven't been thinking of him already, for around 1 month plus. I have been waking up, and looking forward to the day[part without the projects] and just smiling to myself that i have great friends like Pekhar around! Friends make the world go round man!

Whenever i thought of him, tears don't sting my eyes anymore. In replacement, blessings. I hope you're all well over there, and take care of your lil girlfriend in SG. I give my whole and most sincere blessings to the 2 of you.

I'm so happy! It just flows from my heart.

Finally changed my blogskin & song.

A busy day today. Woke up like 8am, then went online for some project discussion and took cab and rushed to Jean's place to 'fetch' her and proceed to NP fer projects after that. But basically did nothing much there since Grace & ST has not arrived. Me & Jean send each other songs and the connection was like hella fast & both of us were like super excited.

Skipped E-Commerce tutorial & Marketing lecture along with ST n Grace in order to rush for our ECD project. Balance sheet of our start up company couldn't balance and we were screaming HELP all the time, but luckily ST the 'financial expert' finally managed to solve it. Me and Grace thus calculate all those formulas like Debt to Asset Ratio and Current Ratio in order to assess e firm's liquidity and stuffs like that. Took quite a long time to complete this and later proceeded to do the financial analysis.

Jean & ST were doing the balance sheet, making sure that everything was in order.

Finally, rushed to the printing room @ 4plus when it was supposed to close @ 5pm. Luckily we managed to make it and submitted the report @ around 545pm when it was supposed to be due at 530pm, but i guess the tutor haven't collected the reports since i felt tons of reports underneath the box when i threw my report into the stupid box. Can't believe our report totalled up to around 40pages.

Went to eat MAC with Jean Wee @ Bt Panjang. Shared some crappy stuffs to lighten both our mood. Were really stressed during the process of this whole project and almost argued a few times. But glad it's all over, and for the fact that we managed to uphold the contents as agreed upon our 'peace treaty'.

Jean came to my place afterwards since her boyfriend had something on. So we proceeded to make the jeans for our ECD sample presentation on tuesday. Grace passed us some un-used jeans and we cut the jeans out and drew butterflies & our company logo -LOLA- and sprinkled some pretty glitter onto it. It was quite nice though. We are born artists!

Anyway, hope Jean will be able to recover from her cornea infection soon. God bless.

And thank God for letting me open up to Grace as we shared some thoughts on Christianity and other stuffs. Thanks for praying for me ya?

Tuition's at 1030 tml, and i have got to sleep now.


My butterfly!


Jean's butterfly!


Lucie Silvas. She's a talent.

Going crazy.

ever since the day you went away
and left me lonely and cold
my life just hasnt been the same
ohh baby, nooo
when I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go
I just broke down (down)

.
.
.

I gotta let you know
I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
for you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything

~Natalie - Going Crazy

*we are destiny and for you i'd cross the world doesn't apply to my case. what a jerk. *smirk*

It has been a pretty freaky week. And the worst's not over yet. Part of it has.

Slept at 4plus am yester night. Rushed financial statements, UTM powerpoint. Woke up @ around 9am cos i received Mic's message, saying that she was in school rotting since her next class was 1pm & she finished @ 830am. Rushed to school to meet her to accompany her and also to have lunch since i missed my dinner the night before. Mum kept asking me to eat dinner until around 12am, she finally gave up and went to sleep. *oops*

Presentation for PQS n UTM went okay.

*wipes sweat off* *phew* Finally 2 modules are 'officially' over.

Report for Entrepreneurship is due @ 530pm tml. Let's hope we make it on time and not stucked in the printer room, with some printer fault. Still remembered Grace & myself were like kan cheong spiders last sem when we were printing our report for -i forgot what module-. We were still printing the report @ 445pm when the report was due @ 5pm. Had no choice but to borrow laptop from someone else in the printer room, no matter how much it embarrass us since they were also rushing to print reports. Those were the days....

Still waiting for Grace to send me the report. -_-""""

A sudden sadness surged through & shot right through me.

I envy those who are so in love now, even though it doesn't show outside of me.

Freaking busy.

Hey, sorry for not updating for so long, have been quite busy doing projects and stuffs. I think i am in the -BUSY- mode in MSN most of the times now.

Went over to Jean's place to stay on Monday and return home on Tuesday. Was rushing project the whole afternoon and night at her place. Btw we did a really silly thing. We made each other sign a contract stating we shall not quarrel or fall out with each other in the course of the project. Cos we were both realli bad tempered gurlz, and when it comes to projects, it'll be chaos. LOL.








1 happy family.


acting crazie.


Jean's nephew.


busy at work.


Jean's contract.


My contract.

Having a terrible headache now.

Preparing cash flow budget statements for the 1st year of my 'starting' up business. I'm seriously going to die of asthma any moment. It's super tedious. Jean's preparing balance sheets and profit and loss statements. I hope everything goes well for the two of us. Btw, we're supposed to come up with a business plan for our imaginary business. So we are starting up this jeans customization service named Lola Jeans. Glad that we managed to work ard 30 pages of report liao. I'm freaking pissed at times. Shouldn't say why.

Having tuition later @ 730pm as usual. Don't feel like going, but can't. It's a problem of responsibility. Moreover, it wouldn't be nice postphoning and postphoning. Janelle got 100 marks for her last spelling. Hope she will do well for her spelling tml. She really trains my patience at times.

Having 2 presentations tml. Good, settle 2 at one shot.

*shoo-off to continue cash flow.

A bunch of silly fakers.

True colours of humans are finally seen through.

Selfishness of humans.

We saw through you.

It's so hard to find a friend who's not wearing a *mask , in _____.