I'm here to update again. Just had a good bath and settle down. *Phew*

It has been a tiring day. Prepared indexes until i went crazy. And my colleague kept asking me to re-do and re-do something. And i had to print and then edit and then print for him to see and then edit again. I was very fed up actually. Don't he know that i put in a lot of effort to do ald? I had to erase this extra column which he felt wasn't supposed to be there. And supposedly to be neater without it. I mean, what the fuck. I re-did from yesterday until today. But he's actually quite a nice person, just that sometimes i just dun get his joke. And i will still pretend to laugh because i can't realli understand what he's saying sometimes. Coz he's from philippines. 37 years old. And there's this accent in him. And i always "HAH?" " HAH??!?"

Nway, meeting Dex tomolo. He's accompanying me to Bugis Sony to fix my boss's discman. I feel as if i am being treated like a maid. Hafta send the laundry and then hafta fix his discman also. But he told me to feel free to record my overtime hours. At least that's better. I'm gonna record a bit more. Hahaha. And then gonna eat my fav LJS.

Thursday will be meeting Xiaohan (with my bro and her sis maybe) to Shirley's BBQ. Heard from Shirley that there's stingray, chicken wings all that. It's her birthday BBQ if i am not wrong. Hooray. A small and short coussies gathering. I wonder how am i going to get home after the BBQ. Perhaps leaving earlier. Coz ur know ma. I need to slp a lot to regain my energy for work on Friday.

I will miss Ando-San, Jasman, Wen, John when i'm gone though it's only a short 2 weeks. But have already fostered good relationships with them. Anyway, i can't believe Jasman is 40 years old when he only looks 30.

Been thinking of him the whole day. Not those thoughts that will make me cry. But miss him as in, I miss those days with him and i thought of those memories. A lot of scenes and memories flashed in my mind while i was typing away @ the laptop @ work just now. Though i kept quiet about the break-up thing and dun really tok bt it with my friends, sometimes i wonder if i have really recovered. Kept askin myself why did this happen. Why did it end so suddenly? To be serious, i don't really get the reason behind this break-up. But it's no use pondering over it now.

God must have some better plans for me.

Anyway uploaded some pictures which was taken during church svc on Sunday.


Me + Celine da jie.


Me + Peifeng Xiao Mei


Me and OL, ZhiYuan. OL means er, ask Peixuan or whoever. Oops. : X


LJJ. Why can't he be LJS?


Wrote on Peixuan's palm during svc. I still remb this was what we always did during AES days. Muahaha.

Some pictures that i had taken of my boss:


Slping away on the floor once he comes back from lunch. Too tired. Poor boss.


Typing away @ my desk.


I'm a bloody idiot.

Haa.

Got to surf somemore before i watch Xi Lin Men. Btw, Anybody got tuition lobangs? Please contact me @ cyndi_shi@yahoo.com.sg

Thank you ah. Though i know it's quite impossible. Btw, Szewei confirm with me soon about the chinese tuition thingy alright? Take care girl.

SURF NET TIME!

HAI.

Sorry ah, welcome your with a HAI instead of a HI.

In the office now. As usual. Its their lunch break and i'm particularly enjoying myself. Surfing net all i want and using the phone to call all i want. I'm such a bad employee.

Went to church with Peixuan and Pekhar and Shiling, Peifeng and Zhiyuan. It was really so nice to em. I really miss their company so much. JJ Lin was in church too. Told Peixuan i wanted to take pic with him so she drag me over and help me took. Glad i took e pic. My 1st pic with a star. I mean besides myself. So that makes 2 star. 00ps.

Went HMV with Pekhar fer some well deserved shopping and met Jay Chow. I thought there was some LEVI's sale as there was a damn huge crowd outside the shop "Energie" and "OP" i think. Din know that it was Jay doing his shopping. I tried tip-toeing but all those blardy damn big and huge heads blocked my view.

Anyway Wayne came to join Jay for shopping afterwards. Think he saw me and Pekhar.

Anyway, my "10 vegetable rice" is coming. I hope. NONO! I DONT HOPE. i dunwan em to come back so fast.

My hair looks a bird nest hill today. Bad hair day.

I'm finally backkk.

Went shopping with Xiaohan after my work. Jasman and Ando-San + Uncle John sent me to JE inter. Took $100 from Petty Cash to buy stationery for office tml @ Popular.

Kenny treated me and Xiaohan to Music dance. Gee. Thanks. Real fun. Then send us home.

And bought me supper. Er, thanks a lot.

Going church with Peixuan tml.

Oh btw, i cut my hair. Into a stylable type. And it cost me $40. At 'It's hairy' cut de @ far east. Heard from cousin it was featured somewhere.

But it was still okie. Shocked when i first saw it. Almost wanted to take a hammer and hammer myself to death.

But the more i see, the more i like it.

But i have got impotent hair. It just won't stand up as long no matter how much wax i put onto it. Styling wax not candle wax. Opps. *_*

Meeting Peixuan and Pekhar and Shiling @ 820 at cck platform for breakfast and then go fer church. OoO. Then going town again with PH. I have got a busy day. Gd gd.

Btw i think i am a real spendthrift. I spent $140 today. On a jean, skirt, top and haircut.

Waiting for my next week's pay. It'd better come soon. I have only $200plus of salary left for me to SPEND.

Seriously got nothing to do now. Have been surfing for quite a long time. And was desperately trying to do my thngs slower because i'm afraid that there would be nothing to do later on.

Just now had coffee and took the whole damn tin of biscuits out from the locker and ate to my heart's content while surfing. I'm not so daring to do that when they r all around. Hahaha. Coz they went out for lunch so i seize the opportunity to make myself @ home.

Anyway was bored until i took out my pouch and threw away all those receipts i had stuffed into it for the past months. Saw receipts from NTUC and other places. Then ta-da, i saw a parking coupon. Costa Sands Resort parking coupon. And i found myself thinking about him again.

But im glad in a way coz as the days pass by, the less i know about what's going on in his life, and the heartache is slowly going away. Now able to think of him without that much of heartache. Gwen, thanks for giving me advice and comforting me online. Love ya.

Jean's going Perth tml with her family to visit her sis. How nice. If only i can go too. She say will be bringing back Curtin Uni's brochure for me. Yeah. And Grace was online jus now. She bought a Von Dutch T-shirt which is in Orange in colour for me. Thanks Grace. I will love anything u buy de.

Hi all, i'm in the office right now.

Just nw was HELL man. Went to the Sanko container and used their colour printer to print monthly report. And their PC can't detect my thumbdrive which was simply jus GREAT. So i asked Jasman for help, he tried but still to no avail. Left with no choice, i took the blardy laptop over and connect. And it works!

So the farking printer took a damn blardy long time to print. And i was sitting there n sorting n sorting. While those contruction workers kept coming in and going out, either to put their things down or have a drink. And their door bangs real hard, scare me to death.

Jasman was slamming his phone on the table and the walls because his lao ya phone cannot work. And he was grumbling and grumbling. So funny. In case your wondered how old is he, i dont know. But all i know is he's married. and he says his wife always kpkb because of his long work time. LOL. And he went Stansfield Uni to study for 2 years @ London.

By the time i finished my work, it was erm 630. Yeah. Can claim for OT.

John asked me to wait la coz they r going home @ 7pm. And Jasman hafta send em home one by one. So i asked him to drop me off @ jurong east @ Recruit express coz i hafta submit the stupid timesheet.

Just called Recruit Express. They said if they r not in by the time i reach there, slot my timesheet under their door? Eh damn. Kinda dangerous. Hahaha.

So sad. I can't watch Xi Ling Men. Waiting for colleagues to finish work.

Gonna work again tml. i'm bored. seriously. seriously thinking about whether i should go nursing when i finish this course.

Oh btw. I must thanks Siew Teng for enrolling for me for IS modules. Give ya a hugz! Enrolled for PQS ( Productivity Quality Studies ) & Understanding Media. Wanted to enrol for TV BEYOND ENTERTAINMENT but all the slots were being snatched up like hamburgers. What a pity!

Aiyah, i'm damn tired liao la. But kinda glad there's something to occupy my mind. =]

disappointed

I'm back from work. Hahaha. Surprised eh?

Charmaine from Recruit Express called me @ 845 am asking me whether i wan a 2 weeks temp admin assignment. I replied sleepily, ok lor ok lor. Then she ask me chiong there NOW. and i was stunned man. NOW? Then she told me to take a cab there for which it would be reimbursed. So it was still okie.

Booked a cab in the end as there was really not a single cab in sight. Came in 4-5 mins.

Rushed all the way to Joo Koon Road. Manager asked me to fill in some employment forms and was asked to wait in the conference room. He ended up giving me newspaper read as there was someone coming to fetch me to the ACTUAL workplace. And i was thinking, how cool.

The malay driver came. Talked to me about the job and hopped onto his van.

ACTUAL workplace was at jurong island. At sum construction site in some container doing admin stuffs.

Din know man. Charmaine also din told me.

Ate cup noodles for lunch. As it was soo hot outside. And happily took yakults from the fridge. They told me to help myself de mah. So i did. =]

Slacked and waited for em to come back. Waited for my japanese immediate boss to come back. They ate lunch for 2 hours. Can you believe it? And this Phillipino colleague came and tok to me meanwhile. Crapped with him. Asking if he was on a diet coz he was jus eating fruits. Hahaha.

By the time they got back, it was around 2pm. And i had only 2 more hours before i finish work! Jap boss explained to me what i should do. Basically prepare daily reports by excel, monthly report, balance sheet and he gave me $2000 to put into a cash box to reimburse whoever needs it. The monthly report is really urgent. Haf to be completed by 25th and it's gawd damn THICK.

Now some pics of my office :












Jasman send me to the checkpoint. Hafta get passes everyday in order to get inside. Army (fark it) guys patrolling and police. Anyway the transport is really good. Jasman will be fetching me from work everyday @ 645am and then he will drop me off @ the checkpoint when i going home. Coz they hafta work till 7pm or later unlike me, finishes at 4pm!

Ando-San ( as he wish me to call him ) even drew on the whiteboard, planning my route home. Asking me whether it would be too long. He's a good boss. But i hope everything will go on fine.

Then went to Recruit Express to get reimbursement for cab fare and signed contract.

Came back home. I'm tired...............

I checked *** mail and found out that he deleted my mails all away from his account. All my mails which pleads him not to break off. And to give our r/s one more chance. I know i am not right to do so, but isn't it better to know the truth? He's so damn heartless. One trip back from Wallaby and he deleted my mails away.

I wanna take REVENGE.

And LIVING WELL IS THE BEST REVENGE.

Watch out for the upcoming long awaited OU TU drama

`Santa Angels`

Starring : OU TU see and OU TU han.

Coming on 32nd December 2004!!!!!!!!

Story speaks of 2 angels who descends from Heaven in order to help people in SG fulfil their X'mas wishes, all which has to be done within 24 hours!! Watch how they fulfil the X'mas wishes of these people....!!!

Below are some of the flim shots extracted from the movie :

angel shopping in paragon before helping people.

angel 2 shopping in paragon before helping people.

place fliming takes place

cheessee!!

all e prezzies i got for helping people fulfil their wishes!

my co-partner -> ou tu han

One of my fans. *gee*

lei long lei long! to get these credit cards worth $15000, please call 1900-112-outu !!

Or visit www.outu.com for more details about this upcoming OU TU DRAMA!! CHIONG AR!

After reading pekhar's blog, remembered that i forgot to mention 1 damn impt issue!

Yest while watching "shutters" at west mall. walked around. Saw this black masked man in Santa Claus suit.

As we walked passed him, he extended his hand and shook hands with us, mumbling "Merry Xmas and Happy New Year, I'm Russell Lee, author of TRUE SG GHOST STORIES"

I was like OMG! Is this real???

Then of course, i tried to POR him.

I replied, Oh i know u! I read ur books!!

Hahaha.

Nothing much.

Watch TV time.

I'm back from a jog! It lasted only for 15mins. But i'm still glad i made the initiative to jog. Jog down my 15 storeys stairs. Err, not exactly took a lift @ 7th floor. Hahahaha.

Then went to find a perfect route with less people.

Then started to jog.

Jog ah jog ah..... Walk a bit..... U turn here a bit here n there....

Then jogged for 15mins or so.....

U turn back home....

Thinking of climbing up the stairs.. but my cramp was hurting me so din climbed up... Dont know why... There's this cramp which hurts just like menstrual cramp always attacking me when i jogged for too long..

I'm so unhealthy..!!

Just feel like postin some pics of my closest friends...

Dead tired. And i meant Really Tired.

Just came back from the movies with Pekhar. Well, she offered to treat me to movies. And of course, being the Miss Nice i am, i had no choice but to accept her treat. Went West mall to watch 'The Shutter'. Such a sweetie movie. I mean. erm. Scary! Real scary. First time i scream while watching movie. And we was like covering our ears like dont know what. And there's this bunch of girls who was screaming like they were on a roller coaster ride. Haha.

Anyway, was supposed to watch with Peixuan also, but she had to work. We were practically like her parents, ate lunch together with her before 'sending' her for work. Anyway, dont really like the people there @ cartel. Heh heh.

Saw this dance competition outside PS. It was the finals for Samsung E dont know handphone model. I knew that because i ran into Yvoone into the foodcourt. Word of mouth. Isn't that powerful? She said she was supporting her friends.

Out of curiosity, also went to watch. Surprisingly, i enjoyed watching them dance. Full of energy. And their kinda dance was called clown dancing which originated somewhere in the USA. The all-guys team won, taking away with them the prize money of $3888. They treated Yvoone they all to .... fastfood. haahhaha.

Anyway, i think i hadnt been home for quite sometime. At least, it felt like. Was out for the past few days. Really missed being home. Erm, for a minute.

Kinda lazy to upload pics.

I'm gonna rest soon as i'm hopping mad that the SIMS2 can't be installed on my lappy.

He will be back on monday, i think.

*wishing that sch will faster start*

@ jean place2

It's 439 am. Yawnz. Getting sleepy. Finally. Jean's already SLEEPING now. Normally, she's the one who will sleep the latest de.. But think she's damn tired coz she gotta entertain me coz i woke up quite early today. Thanks girl. Love ya.

The timetable is out. I think will be having 4 9am class days out of 5 days. Including IS classes which i have yet to enrolled for. Maybe enrolling for "Exploring Photography" or some understanding how the scenes behind drama production are. GRR. Of coz choose the most easiest module. Hahaha. My enrolment appointment is on 25th Nov @ 8-10am.

Reallu suay. Same as the last time de slot. 8-10am. Hafta wake up so early just to enrol for that stupid module. Hope me and Jean and Grace they all can get into the same class wor.

Just now went for a swim and spent most of our time chatting inside the spa room. SHIOK.

We have a new style, imitating how the doggies swim. Hahaha, i wonder if anyone saw us doing tt. Gotta be laughing their heads off manz.

Anyway, i'm soo damn looking forward to tml's keeptouch de outing. I hope it will be great. If not, u will confirm see me cursing and swearing here. Hahaha.

Gotta sleep liao. It's my turn to sleep on the floor today. *nitex*

At Jean's place now. She's having her nap. Can't believe that she actually slept @ 8plus this morning coz she was playing MS. Hmm, i slept the earliest @ ard 5am. Actually wanted to sleep even earlier coz i surfed net for too long. But went to sit in her living room and watched SCV till 5am. Heh heh.

Anyway, attention Xiaohan, Kerin, Gwen, Ah Leng and myself! Kerin and myself have come up with a 'Who will be the first to get married' Bet. Oh btw, all those names i have mentioned are my dearest cousins from my father's side. They are namely, aged 19, 20, 22 and i think ah leng is 28. Kerin is bettin that i'll be the first to get married among em. And whoever loses will have to treat the rest of us to either steamboat or buffet. Kerin said she wanted Ah Yi Abalone. I think she's mad. Dun care her. Me and Xiaohan r betting that she will b getting married first. Haven asked Gwen and Ah leng yet.

It's soo fun having great cousins around!!

Later gonna go swim. I don't think i'll be called swimming. More likely "pao shui".

My hair's getting so difficult to maintain. Argh. I hate this.

I'm looking for tuition assignments thrg agency and i hope i can get it. It would be an experience.

New sem's starting soon. I'm kinda scared i can't cope with this coming sem de work.

But nway, my forum's outing nearing! I'm soooo excited... Xiaohan wanna meet @ 3-4pm tml noon. I think she misses me bahz, but i din know it was THAT MUCH since we were supposed to meet @ 9pm @ PS for "Incredibles"!! LoL.. Dun kill me when u read this...

I think Jean's kinda incredible. One moment, she said she wanna sleep and the next moment she's asleep. Incredible huh? More than that i suppose. IS Superpower!

I couldn't sleep. Switched on my laptop and then surf a while, then tried to sleep. Tossed and turned around. But still couldn't sleep because my mind was full of him. It's been a month plus. Flashing in my mind was memories, moments i could never forget.

I re-read the sms you sent to me.

You said you hope i could understand.. You have your own set of problems.. And it's unfair and it's not that you totally don't love me anymore.. You still love me and thats why when i prompt you for the final decision, you couldn't bear to say it on the phone.. I asked if you still love me, you replied harshly, No i don't love you anymore. I cried and did my best to salvage this relationship.

You said there was no hope.. You refused to tell me whats on your mind even after countless attempts to make you talk.. I tried different handphone numbers to call you.. You picked up but talked to me in a cold tone. I wanted to cry.. But i can't.. Grace n siewteng were there supporting me and giving me advices..

Siew teng heard our conversation on Grace's earpiece.. She said.. How come he like this one?

I told myself... No! You have misunderstood.. He is not like this de.. Perhaps i stressed him too much...

But i shut up and squat down and cried...

The man i once loved.. and who loved me once... treated me like this...

Do u think all dese is fair to me?

You told me that 5 of your friends who either went overseas or their partners went overseas have broken up.. I wanted so much to ask you.. Who r this farking friends of yours? But i din, i tried my best to reassure you again and again..

I told you that my pain will never go away.. You said that it will... Eventually... And if fate still permist, we could still get back together... And that you totally believe in fate...

I want so much to get back with you.. Right now.. But i know u r just plain farkin selfish.. farking irresponsible.. You din even consider what i was feeling... How much pain i felt....

Perhaps u dun feel any pain...

How i interpreted the sentence.. " It's not i totally dun love you anymore". It meant... Your love for me has decreased by a damn huge portion.. And i dont know why.. and what.. have i done to make u feel like this? I know u purposely make us drift apart for the past month b4 we broke up.. So that it maybe could be easier for u to get over it when we actually broke up...

You smsed me before my exams... and told me not to think so much and ask me to concentrate on my exams... I did of course, rather than spend my days crying and wasting my parents money to send me thrg poly... In fact i scored BETTER compared to when u were with me..

Perhaps u r with other girls already.. I don't know... Although i miss you and love you... I wanna forget u in the fastest speed... Because i wanna start loving myself... I know it's not worth it... You said u love me but u din even consider what i was feeling but just left me to farking die out of broke up sadness..

SHIT YOU OK!

Friends. dont comment on this entry. Just listen to me. All i need is a listening ear.

I don't know what happened to this r/s when i gave it my ALL, i loved you with WHAT i have..

You told me that you r not my everything... I still have all my buddies, friends and families..

But what u did not know was, You were my everything... You were my world...

Thats why my pain is so much more and much more extreme than YOURS.

i finally CRIED after about 20 days since my last cry. And it lasted for 1 min.

My girl's a brave dog! She killed a cockroach with her own paws, own efforts!

I was wondering what the hell man, she running in my room and banging into tables and squeezing into the smallest gap and then attempting to get out.

When i found out what she was doing. -Slaying the cockroaches-

The cockroach by then was DEAD, err. not exactly. But still wringling around, trying to fight for her last breath.

Then, i woke my brother up and asked him help throw the cockroach into the toilet bowl.

Oh btw, i mus give credits. In case ur wondered which of my girl was the heroine, It was our dear snow white ROSY!

Think i must force myself to sleep. If not, i'll be hella running freaking late tml.

Good night.

I like white backgrounds. Makes me a little chirpy instead of letting me feel BLUEY!

Feel like updating some pics.



Gotta pack my bag. Going over to Jean's place to stay tml night. It's a girl's NIGHT out! Gonna stay till friday i think. Gonna meet our dearest and busiest Jessie tml morning @ 915am for her interview @ Tampines.

Too bad when i called the lady, all the vancancies has already been filled.

I think i'd better sleep early man. If not, i'll sure be late fer tml.

Been trying to build up the atmosphere for my perfect SHIT since afternoon.

OOPS.

Do i sound crude?

Whatever la hor.

This is my BLOG!

If u dun like it, FARK OFF!!

It's 321am. And dear diary.. What am i doing? I'm still chatting and surfing. Woohoo. Been staying up late these few damn days. And been waking up in the noon with swollen eyes. Meet Pekhar, Sarah & Manping earlier on @ cwp for Princess Diaries 2.

Had an enjoyable date with em. For more details, please proceed to Pekhar aka APH's blog.

I'm beginning to feel AGAIN that this is becoming a public blog.

Fark.

I'm begining to count down to the days he will b back from Wallaby.

I don't like myself. Why am i like this? Much as i don't want myself to keep brooding over him, but i just can't help it.

Recently got to know this guy called Jason who's in armour also @ Sungei Gedong also. But from SAR 46. He doesn't know HIM. But he said his whole unit just came back from Wallaby. I was so tempted to ask him about all the things they did over there. Whether they visited any hookers?

Things r really bad. One year ago, i wouldn't even haf thought that things would ended up this way. I have to pratically dig for information regarding him through whatever channels i can. Or even asking people like Jason about the things they did over there (which i din asked).

I want to thank God for bringing me through. He gave me the strength. I remembered i was feeling damn weak and depressed the week before we broke up because i have a hunch that we will break. I kept praying to God, telling him and asking him to gif him strength. Asking him to gif me strength when my own tears are falling out.

I din think i will be strong.

Strangely enough, the evening we broke up, i was feeling exceptionally calm. I felt peace. I felt a burden lifted off. I could even call Pekhar and told her what has happened without crying, but instead cracking jokes and laughing. I asked God to helped me through for the week. Giving me strength to move on every single sec, min, hour and day.

The weirdest thing was, i moved on without much tears.

Then i felt the strength slowly go away. As though he was letting me learn how to be strong on my own and learning to stand up on my own.

Thank you God. For bringing me through this hard journey.

I'm half the road to the road of TOTAL Recovery.

You may think it's fast. But i don't want this to affect my school work. I wan to start the new sem with a fresh new mood, a fresh new ME, a fresh new life.

I wan to decorate my room with lots of photos. Of my friends and I. To encourage myself. To remind myself that there's still my 7 dwarfs and poly de gd friends to spur me on. I know ur will always be there for me.

I wan to set new goals for myself. I wan to spend my life peacefully.

Though i badly hope and wish tat you will come back to me.

I got a farking hunch that you won't.

It's a tiring day today. MY MY! Went for City Harvest church svc @ Indoor stadium. Thought was supposed to go to their carnival but din know why the service took so long. We queued and queued. Peixuan and the others were drenched. The rain really chose a bad timing. Pouring on us when we were walking halfway. Had to run like crazy. OH YEAH. We were indeed crazy.

Have to cut short on the details. Lazy to type.

So we went in and Kerin called me, asking me where i was. So excited! I told her i was @ the East side and she told me she was @ the West side with her mum. Peixuan helped me to WAVE and Kerin saw us. I think she was laughing like crazy over the phone. Hahaha. But nway, din managed to see her since there was too many people.

Ate 2 hotdog buns and was really REALLY full!

Svc started. With like 10,000 people?

Heard it was telecast over online live service and on TVs overseas in countries like Indonesia, Philippines and Australia? Really Interesting.

Had to stood up n sang right from the start. Din know had to stood up for THAT long. Standing 3/4 the time out of the 3 hours plus long service.

In between, my friend Jeffrey told me he was crying inside the room. He was supposed to be on duty protecting Pastor Ulf, the sweden Pastor. I hear liao also sad. Comforted him until my handphone dropped onto the floor with a LOUD bang. Was so embarrassed. Almost wanted to pretend that hp wasnt mine, but HAIZ. Forget it la, no time for such craps.

Went down for Salvation with APH. Meaning accepted Christ into your heart. Had to say prayers all tt.

Realised a few of my friends was in the svc today. Kerin was inside listening to the svc, Jinming was on stage performing in the choir, Jeffrey was protecting Pastor Ulf. Amazing dat i din saw em.

Took a cab home with Peixuan, Jialing n Pekhar.

Sherlyn just sms me a good night msg n inform me again bt the next week svc. Hee. She doesn't look like a 23 year old.

Just ate maggie mee. Cooked for my bro too.

Feel like slping now.

It's a SIAN sunday tml.

Yest night couldn't bear it, but lay down on my cosy bed and almost fell asleep when Jean called me and told me very excitedly that the results is OUT!! My eyes became BIG immediately. Seriously BIG lor.

Still couldnt logged in after a few tries. In the end had to trouble Jean's bf to check for me.

Got an AD for Spanish, A for Biz Law, A for Human Resource, B for Business Etiquette, B+ for Financial Management, C+ for Economics, C+ for Managerial Accounting.

Pass jiu hao Pass Jiu hao.

GAN XIE TI KONG!!!!!!

Went to eat LJS with Zhen Quan and took lotsa VCDs from his place. Thanks BRO.

Later gonna sit at the living room and watch VCD all night long.

So tired.

I'm glad i managed to score better than last sem. Does this prove i am more able to work under STRESS, anxiety and DEPRESSION? My close friends, ur should know what i meant right? But i hope i wun ever experience breakups again. Never again. Will i enter a r/s in the next erm... 3 yrs?

Jean, don't beat me!!!

Going for church carnival with Pekhar to support Peixuan. I hope we GO because Pekhar like ACT DAO in MSN. OOPS!

It's 433 am.

Me and Jean have waited until we feng diao liao.

I have surfed every thread supposed to, listen to every MP3, surf any interesting sites.

And it's still not OUT yet.

I tell you.

I'm wearing my shoes now.

Heading over to NP now.

Kerosene is in my hands.

Just swinging by to do a quick update. It's 322am. And i am still surfing. Why? Waiting for my results. It's 12th Nov but it's not even here yet.

I really feel like ringing Osama and asking him to come n bomb NP.

IRC de NP people also freaking complaining and staying up also.

Damn it.

Ur will see me on the news tml.

I'll be at NP gate, carrying kerosense and with a lighter in my hand.

Gawd. Results r gonna be out in erm less than 24 hrs? I'm quite anxious. I really hope i can clear all the modules.

It's gonna rain any moment.

I slept @ 7am and i woke up @ 130pm. *slap myself* Felt as if i din slept at all.

Anyway, just read from forums about the manintenance period in a relationship.

"When the post courtship is over... in the maintenence period, u will always see wat ur partner is like in his everyday living life... he will go back to gaming, watching soccer, snookering, etc.... things will start to whine down a lot and pls, this doesnt mean he dun love u."

Going to watch TV.

.

I'm backk from clubbing @ that useless farking MU. I just shake my ass for like half an hr. Trying desperately to make myself dance to the beat but damn it, the songs were completely out of this world. Fit only for the aliens. But normally MU should be quite fun de. The songs r HELLA shit today. And there were 2 damn aunties dancing their pole dances on the bartop. And i was staring @ them. Feel like pulling their asses out of there and giving em a good kick to wake em up. Sexually deprived?

But nway, i'm so damn tired. Not from dancing. But from queueing outside Chinablack for 2 damn solid hours. And i was fidgeting and walking around and standing @ diff positions each minute. I just can't stand it. It seems so much like we were queueing for Hello kittys rather than queueing to enter into a damn club? Anyway, really mus go earlier next time if it falls on a eve of a public holiday.

Wanna apologise to Kerin, my cousin! For not being able to meet u inside Chinablack. There were just tooo many people. I think u know that feeling. Haha. Next time perhaps we go together with xiaohan ya? ON!

Decided to forgo queueing and go to MU instead. Shoot it. It was a wrong decision.

After that, met weida kenny and soon you outside MU. Watched 'Taxi' @ cineleisure. Dont know whose treat again. But i am so damn glad that i dont have to fork out a single cent the whole day. I'm really low on budget. Damn it. Face it. I'm poor.

Took a cab home aft that with em.

Reach home and surprisingly the door was open. My parents were awake! But they din scold me.

Bathe and strike poses in front of the mirror. Call me crazy if u want. I dont care.

Now updating my blog.

Trying to sleep.

No one's @ home man. Such a damn fooking boring morning.

Anyway. Happy DEEPAVALI !!!

Eating biscuits now. I recommend Loacker-Quadratini (The original ). Superb. Can be found at NTUC. I ate until i almost fell sick liao. Coz it's chocolate filling. Kind of heaty mah.

Yesterday nite @ about 1am, i cook my ever famous maggie mee with spiced pork cubes again. And it was delicious. Ho ho ho. Pekhar, next time u come my place la and then i cook for u lor. Heh heh.

Tonight going clubbing with Jean and Ah chong and Wendy they all bah. Kind of heart pain actually because today is the ev of public holiday. Not ladies night. Argh. Gotta spend money again. How bad can that be.

Yeah. Excited about the forum gathering next friday. I have already put myself and my coussie on the confirmed list. Woohoo. She jus woke up from a nap @ my place. What else can i describe about her. She's a PIG!

Yawnx. Toking to jean online now.

Results gonna be out on fri... GOD BLESS ME!!!

Felt kind of sad today. Went online, saw Ah chong.. Talk to her and i felt better. Thanks ah chong!

Didnt do much today. Surfed forums for the whole day. You may wonder why i can sit in front of the laptop and surf net for the whole day. I also don't know the answer. Hahaha.

Going for a forum event on 19/11 which falls on a Friday for a movie watching session. Watching Incredibles. Luckily my cousin is a member of the forum too, we r going together! But too bad Maris cannot make it since she's havin her exams starting from next monday. Good luck girl!!

Might be going to club tml. Still thinking of what to wear. *confused*

Going to bathe and make fruit salad later on.

Ciaoz.

Met up with my dearest classmates from 4/3. Guys and girls. I miss you all so much, was so glad to see all of ya especially Jack and Hanqin and Shun Xing. Since ur always din join us for gathering. Anyway today 10 peepz made it for the gathering, Manping - Cindy - Pekhar - Jessie - Jialing - Shun Xing - Jack - Han Qin - Sin Min - Jie Wei. Peixuan was supposed to go but couldnt make it @ the end. What a pity.

For details about the gathering, Jialing's blog have all the details! I am lazy to type!!

Anyway, met Dex for movie aft that. Watched Cellular. Better than HOUSE OF THE DEAD. Went to watch House of the Dead with 4/3 peepz btw. And i was complaining and complaining that the show was LAME to Jialing, and tried kicking Jessie in the leg for many times, trying to SCARE her. But din succeed. Haha. Kept covering my ears coz i was scared the sound effect might make me jump and keep nudging Jialing in the arms. Hahaha.

Anyway, please DONT ever ever ever watch House of the DEAD. It's just a farking piece of shit. it's a DAME LAME piece of shit. Waste my $8.5.

Anyway, accompanied Pekhar to Tanjong Pagar to look for her workplace. The sun was shining bright on us and it was so damn scorching hot. Couldnt bear it but took an umbrella out for HELP! though we look like aunties. Forget it. No one's watching anyway.

Walked all the way from Tanjong Pagar MRT to Duxton Road. For a good damn 20mins. And we were asking directions from time to time, with a map in our hands, making us look like tourists. Nvm, my face is all thrown, might as well act like tourists till the very end. Realised that Outram MRT is nearer to her workplace but i think she still needs to walk for a good whole 10mins or so. Good luck to u Pekhar! *salutes* *bow down*

I envy those who r having attachment. At least they have something to DO during this holiday while i am going to slack my time away. I don't know what to do man. Someone, gimme a job. or rather, Someone, just gif me MONEY.

I dont think can get a job liao. There's only like, less than a month b4 the damn damn sch reopens. Damn it. Stupid BRO better get SIMS2 de game from his friend soon. I wanna PLAY if not, u will see a corpse walking around the house soon.

DYING.... DYING.... from boredness....

Now chatting with ZhenQuan. Think wed or thurs meeting him for a movie and dinner or lunch bah. Right pal? Thanks for helping me with the bloggie thing. =]

Going to slp soon after downloading the damn songs. Oh gawd. FASTEN the download SPEED!!

SLEEP GIRL...!!! STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM!!!

Fark manz, just sleep...

lol

I can't help to admit that, i really do miss you.

A lot.

So much that i can't tell myself not to miss you anymore.

I can't forget you.

Tell me, what should i do?

I'm sitting here and typing my blog instead of watching SG idols. I think it sucks. It's getting so boring and i really just don't have the drive to watch it just like other girls do. I just can't sit there still, and have my eyes fixed on the TV while Syvlester Sim and Daphne Khoo sang. My ear drums will burst. I just don't get it why girls are going crazy over them and even IDOLISE them? Is there anything which makes them so attractive?

Anyway, went to Cheryl's condo and swim and went for a steaming session and back to the pool again. Didn't really SWIM but just enjoying the feeling of relaxing in the water. Went back to her place for a bath and a maggie mee lunch and then sat down at the sofa for a movie - White Chicks-

I felt good today. I didn't think a lot, compared to the previous few days. Horrendous.

I'm glad i made the effort to make myself feel good.

I wanna go for a haircut tomorrow. And i really hope Jean wakes up in time. I wanna go to her place to slack. Feels as if i haven't seen her for such a long time. Miss u so much girl.

Going Szewei's place on sat for Spanish.

Gathering with my dearest friends, my best buds on Sun.

Good. My week is packed.

I woke up, thinking of . . . again. I don't want to have this happening to me every morning, but then again, i can't help it. I am awaken every morning by thoughts of him and just before i sleep, my mind is full of him.

But who will ever understand what i am going through?

This blog will gawd damn show the proceedings which follows my road to recovery.

I wonder when can i fully recover?

Going town with my mum n bro soon. Another place which is full of memories. I hate this. I really do.

Can i just jump down and end my life.

At times, feel so happy. At other times, i feel so depressed.

A simple mind without him will keep me happy. Yeap, that's it.

Browsed through forums and chanced upon a thread which had ' Guys r so hard to understand, do u agree?' Found something really interestin which was posted by a guy i think. I was laughing. Just wanna share with all of ya. Lolx.

....not really...guys are actually very easy to understand and pleased...if only u follow my tips...

1. if they are digging their nose...never never surprised them from behind...can end up becoming a murder case......

2. and dont u gals worry...no matter how lousy your cooking is...they will always say that your cooking is delicious...even when their face is actually turning blue trying not to vomit...... ..

3. ...guys hor...their memory hor...not so good...so...after going shopping with him...dont ask him the colour of the curtain the ah pek is selling...they wont remember one.....

4...when u send them for marketing...they dont noe which meat is for cooking and which meat is for frying...they only noe which is cheap meat and which one is expensive meat......

5. ...the time required for them to finish their cup of coffee is usually one hour...but this time frame will be longer if they drink it together with their members.....

6. ...if u ask for something or ask them to go out...and if they say..."see arr how"...that means...u can kiss that thing goodbye liao...means he dont want lor.....

7. ...the longest time they flipped a wedding album will only be for 30 seconds....so...dont ask him to see the album again and again.....

8. ...when they ask u gals to wear make-up...it means just wearing a decent face powder and lipstick only....and not asking u gals to go for facial then plastik surgery, then flower bath...then set your hair...and trim your eyebrows and whatever hair u got.... ..

9. ...and dont worry...no matter how fat you are...they will always say..."no lah...where u got fat one..."...

I guess point 9 applies to someone i know because i saw a very FAMILIAR word.

-hair-

Today is a Tuesday! I'm over and done with being ta ma de SAD over him going to Australia. Sounds so stupid right, being SAD over him going there when we aint even contacting. But it's just a natural reaction, as what one of my forum friends told me. She's called Maris, just got to know her not long ago. Already arranged fer a shopping trip aft her exams. She's in SMU and just graduated from my course in May. Fate lead us here, it's such a coincidence.

My throat still feels sore & 'itchy'.

But anyway, i must try to ELIMINATE the GREENS! Greens referring to those in army uniform. Whenever i saw him, a damn image comes to my mind. I'm sure ur know what it is. Greens sucks to the core. Excluding my friends who r in army lah.

But anyway, i hope ur dun mind when some of my entries are consistently sad. I just needed some place to release whatever i am thinking, if not i will become MAD! And if anyone dun like what i'm writing, PLEASE FARK OFF!

Yeah, going off for lunch with that mao mao soon.

I'm listening to Britney de I will still love you. Damn nice. I will change my blog song.

Should i continue loving him or just kick him out of my mind?

Nono. I tink i shouldnt change my blog song to that.

My new song will be Kelly Clarkson - BREAK AWAY.

FEVERISH and tired and sore throat and COLD is what i'm feeling now.

I'm at my coussie's place, surfed the net like i have never before. Just wanted to pass my time more quickly.

Monday is coming to an end. I guess he should be there by now.

I have a new fav song, Britney Spears - I will still be loving you.

I'm thinking whether to take cab or not back home.

I dun have the strength to take BUS and then MRT back. I don't know. Perhaps i'll do, in order to save money since i just bought MRT pass. Must use until GOU BEN.

Ur take care. The weather nowadays is really chilly.