I pray .....

Parents sort of had a small argument over the payment of bills again just now. When it started, i just hugged my pillow close to my chest because i'm afraid it would turn into something huge again.

Getting my tuition fee tml. But the money gonna go to my internet bill. Though it's only a mere $60 since the other $60 is absorbed by the tuition agency, i'm still glad i managed to settle one of the bills. It just hurts to see my dad getting so frustrated over the payment of bills.

I'm HAPPY that i can settle 2 of the bills next month.

Thinking of taking another tuition assignment so i can at least pay 4 bills.

God bless.

Tired. After working on my ECD project. Finally squeezed out 4 pages for management planning. I figure there would still be another 30 to 40 pages to go for the rest of our statements. I wonder how Jean and myself is going to survive through this. I think i'll be going mad soon.

Went for a movie with my dear friend, Miss Mao. We watched "Hide and Seek". Almost choked on my nachos when the sound effect scare me, leaving me half dead. I have always liked thrilling and scary movies, but yet it's always super tiring for my hands. Know why? My hands are busy covering my ears. And it's super numb after the whole movie ended. Hee hee hee.

Rushed for tuition with Janelle after the movie. Bought a sharpener & some cutie erasers for her, which i thought she would like. Since she mentioned to me she din have any sharpeners, and always borrow it from her friends. What's life without some sharpeners and some decent erasers for a primary school kid right?

I remembered i used to love my pencil case a lot. Those cutie barbie girl pencil cases. I still remember the bookshop. To me, it was full of fancyful things which i could not afford at that time. Since a pretty bear eraser would costs around $.4 or $.5 whereas my pocket money was around $.5 during P1. I can only just stand at the counter and look at it. But never mind, i was already satisfied. =) Oh btw, i'm from South View Primary School, same Pri. Sch with Jialing, right from P1.

I think i'll post some of my photos back those days when i'm free ya? Jialing looks like a N.E.R.D whereas i'm kinda auntie, with my watch wore super high towards my arm. *schmiles*


I'm awake!


I'm a....w.....a.....k......e..........


*snorezzzz*


Playing DEAD!


"i'm currently using SK2. You can come closer to take a look. No wrinkles!!!!"


AHHHH!!!! " TAI JIN LERRRR"




BEARY ERASERS! YUMMY!




Ang kong kong sharpener.

Promised Janelle some beautiful butterflies erasers if she get 100 marks fer her spelling tml. She's been really good today. Scoring a perfect score of 100 marks for 3 practices of spelling rounds today. *schmiles* Proud of you!

PQS meeting tml @ 11am. *Yawnz*

Promised to change my blogskin once i spot something i REALLY REALLY like ya?

Good night.

Thank you Grace for keeping me in Prayer.

Did i mention i took my doggies along when my dad went to fetch my mum after work @ Turf City. They were really good. No barks and everything. Although they were really excited but they sat still in the car,which makes me more eager to take them out for walks. There's a deserted track @ Turf City, some deserted big space for them to run around. Another place undiscovered.

Sweet dreams my friends... Love all of ya so much so much....

Cherish the present.

Where will we be in another 5 years?

We would be having this lil gathering 5 years later. And we would be asking each other how our life has been. Kids might be running around. Some might turn up for this gathering in executive suits. Some others might not turn up at all, perhaps they are busy with the hectic worklife of theirs.

Some of us might be young mothers, and i'll be holding the lil kid of perhaps Pekhar and Jiewei, cuddling the baby. Some of us might have emigrated to other countries. Some of us might be working as stewardess in SIA or Emirates. Some of us might be entrepreneurs. Some of us might still be studying. Or working.

Each of us have something different going on in our lives, and we are all working towards to what we perceive as our dream or just for the sake for making money.

And perhaps i'll be telling Pekhar....


"Can't believe we were clueless teenagers once, when handing in homework and BGR problem seems to be our biggest problems."

Beautiful one.

Regards.

Feel as if i haven been truly updating my blog.

I think i will be tied down by committments in projects very soon.

More or less, troubled by projects already.

Presentation for PQS[Productivity & Quality Studies] next thursday. Submission of business plan which, i think will be almost 50pages or more by next friday. Understanding the Media project presentation & report submission soon. Marketing project due soon [which doesn't concern me & jean] since we split project.

Sometimes, i just feel it's unfair.

Sometimes, i just wanna find someone i can rely on. Someone whom i can cry on his shoulders. Someone who can comfort me when i'm feeling down. Someone who will give me his support in everything i do. Someone whom i can share my joy with.

When i see him, my heart will jump. And my breath will stop. When i look into his eyes, it leaves me electrocuted. When we brush our glance across each other, i can't help but to smile. Blushing when i see him.

Ah... That would be so beautiful.

A smile in anticipation for a new day

it's amazing how i manage to wake up every morning with a smile.

our lovely sun has risen and woke up to a new day. it just makes me smile thinking of it.



much distractions in between. studyin for AAA now. I'm so tired. gosh.

service was great as usual. combined tertiary cell yesterday was enriching. what a pity me & pekhar din get to go for dinner with the rest of them as i had to rush home for studies while pekhar need to buy something for Amy.

She has given birth to a baby girl! Guess she's quite heavy for a baby girl, around 9 pounds. Thank God she had a smooth delivery.

-back to AAA-

will update again soon soon. i promise. *hugz all my frensies*

-loves the song "breathe in" by lucie silvas-

It's heartbreaking how the reality sinks in.
But it's even heartbreaking to see the man you once love
say "I love you. I want to live my life with you" to another girl.

However, deep inside, i know for a fact, i was lucky to discover this early.
Instead of the midst of marriage.

A better arrangement, is what God has in plan for me.
Don't question "Why?". But place your complete trust in him.

Received most of my tests back except for OM.
Scored 80plus for the 3 tests.
Had ECD [Entrepreneurship] todae.
Everyone was so stressed out.
Practically sticking the notes on my face fer the whole dae.
I was tired. My eyes was tired.

But i'm glad friends were with me. The fact cheered me up.

Tuition's tml. 10.30am. I hope Janelle do her homework.

AAA[Accounting] test 2 falls on Monday. This Monday.
I'm going to slog like a bull this weekend, again. Can you believe it?
It's practically like a nightmare.
Yes, my worst nightmare coming true.
Will be busy this coming few weeks. With my projects.
When will this end?

Took Beauty along yesterday when my dad went to fetch my mum after work @ Turf City.
She was so excited.
Sprang around like some extra strong energizer battery rabbit.

I'm going to rest my eyes a while.

It's time to say goodbye
Black out the sun and pack up the sky
Don't let my tears start to make you cry
Goodbye to you
Bon voyage
*tears trickling down

Notice me, take my hand
Why are we strangers when Our love is strong
Why carry on without me
Everytime I try to fly,
I fall Without my wings,
I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

I make believe that you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

Hopes were dashed.
Time stops at the current moment.
I stared at the screen, wondering if i had seen the right things.
You're attached.

All those sweet lovey dopeys which used to belong to you & me, were now yours and hers.

All those memories which used to belong to you & me, were stacked up somewhere in a corner.

All those things we used to do, became the things you & her do now.

All those dreams we used to had, became the future for both of you.

Perhaps my position in your heart will soon be overtaken by her. Perhaps your love for me, has become nothing but ashes. Perhaps you can no longer recall what my face looks like. Perhaps the names we thought for our "future children" will become u & hers eventually.

The love showered upon me by you will no longer be there.

I'll no longer leave footprints in your house anymore. Not in your room anymore. It will be replaced by another girl, the new girl whom you said you loved her.

The same girl you are willing to pledge your love for her, irregardless of the fact u'll be in a LDR.

The same reason you came up with. Not confident to enter into a LDR with me.

Me, who endured through all those army life with you. Me, who doesn't complain when u decide to sleep in all day long. The same me who who is willing to endure thrg all hardships with you. The same me, who sticks to you for 3 damn years.

No matter what, this is what God has arranged fer me and you. Perhaps this is the best for u & me.

I won't pester u animore. This is the best & the last present i shall give you.

Though it hurts me like hell inside. A mixture of relief and sadness. Relieved that i can have a definite answer now. I know why you stopped replying to my msgs 1 month ago. Sad because i loved you so much, but now, i've to see with my bare eyes, that you're leaving for another girl.

I wouldn't want to see that girl getting upset over me contacting u.
Just like the way i was upset with you, for you've been contacting some girl.
Treat her well. Dote on her. Give her the best you can.

All the best to ur new relationship.

你还爱我吗
一直好想问你这句话
却又怕 听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗
为何你总是不说话
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎
你爱我吗
好久没有你的消息
心里还惦记着你
在这冷冷的夜里
感觉那么的熟悉好想再见你
想听听你的声音
敢情的路总让人好无助
我会学着面对独处
给深爱的你祝福

Happy New Year everyone! May all of you have a blessed 2005, and excel in everything that you all do. Lunar Chinese New Year is here. And the year of Rooster is here! When will the year of Tiger come? *wondering wondering* It's my year!

Went to my da gugu's place to have reunion lunch and dinner. Xiaohan came along around 3pm. Meanwhile, her mum kept saying that she was a PIG, sleep until so late. Keep asking me to call her to come here. -________- I thought PIGS ain't supposed to answer phone calls? After that, went to Chinatown fer a walk. Bought a whole packet, erm, a HUGE packet of sweeeets. Xiaohan was damn clever. Steal some "gua zi" as we walked. SHIFU!



Someone gave me a winnie de pooh de bolster & ba kwa. Someone. SOMEONE. someone.



Anyway, went to my another gugu's house to eat lunch just now. And just reached home not long ago. Watched some teebee and cried a lil for it was really touching. So happy just to see my 2 doggies waiting @ the door fer us.

Xiaohan passed me the picture yest that Ho Yin took fer us during ThanksGiving. =)



Those days.....

I'm getting jittery over projects stuffs. OM case study and UTM will be due on Mon. And our groups still haven't done it. Oh gosh. Hope that we will be able to complete in time.

Btw, i wanna thank Sabrina for her dinner treat @ Fiesta. Had a talk with her too. =) *hugz*

Steamboat later. *smirk*

But still can't help feeling a pinch of loneliness & sadness.

Reflections on E-commerce Module :

After completing half of the syllabus and done at least half of the workshops involved, i feel that EC has become increasingly important in the lives of the consumers, regardless of nationalities. Be it B2B or B2C gateway, EC has served its purpose in having a click and mortar store instead of a brick and motar store. Ec has facilitated more innovative ways of doing businesses online with consumers. EC also helps click and mortar stores to save initial start-up costs and adds joy for consumers when they search for products involved.

I have gained the valuable knowledge of building a EC site, with the aid of Dreamweaver MX. Not forgetting the bond EC has created between my partner and myself. :)

P/s: Please ignore this entry for this entry is done in accordance with my EC E-Learning requirements. Submitted my URL link for my blog to tutor. 2B25, Remember to do this ?! thing.

I'm glad i went fer service today. I enjoyed myself throroughly.

Pastor preached about the 2 causes of weaknesses which was namely legalism and lawlessness. So true. Can't help but to focus on what Pastor said. Though at some moments, couldn't really get the point. But glad Celine was there to clear my doubts. Thanks Celine. *muacks*

Went fer lunch later at JE with Peixuan, Celine, Pekhar, Sabrina and Wayne. Cold jokes. *shivers* I think the 'jokes' that i shared with them was really not FUNNY. But never mind, i'll bring you all a jacket next time round ya?

Next sat or sun will be our dinner fer our cell. Not sure if it's just our cell or the Youths. I'm kinda looking forward to it now. But really hope Celine and Peixuan and Ella will be able to make it. Not forgetting Guuu and YN. :) *Gee*

Went shoppin with my bro and Pekhar after that @ Bugis. Totally gave my bro a complete makeover in the dressing sense. Bought new top, new pants, new bag. And now, i'm BEGGING him to cut his hair. Kinda stylo those kinda hairstyle in which you kinda shaved all of the hairs above your ears? I'm not really sure how to describe that. Lousy me.

I think i was the one complaining throughout the trip. "AIYOH VERY HOT!" "SO MANY PEOPLE!" "LEGS VERY TIRED" "I WAN TO SIT DOWN"

But thank you, Pekhar. For not giving up on me. Hehehe. Sounds so MUSHY. I'd better stop it.

Bought clothes in anticipation for the auspicious Lunar Chinese Year. Totalled to around $70. *faint* My tuition fee for this month will go all to that. Bleah. But i'm kinda glad my dad's character took a change, a change for the better. He gave me $60 to buy new year clothes. For my bro too. I think he knew we din complain coz we din had money to buy clothes, so kinda gave us a reward. And i think he knew that i was trying to help him settle the bill. Since he gave a lame excuse like, "I settle lar, since u settle so slow one" coz the bill was left on my table for 2 days. But was planning to settle in the afternoon. Guess i gotta find other things to settle. Thank You god. For everything you gave me. And bless me with.

My emotions were like craps yesterday night. But glad my friends comfort me and encourage me through MSN. -You know who you are- *thanks* I appreciate it ALOT ALOT!

Dinner with Sabrina tml evening. *looking forward* :)

I'm feeling light. I'm feeling the love of God.

i'm sick of hearing myself tear and whine.
i'm sick of the loneliness.
i'm sick of feeling my heart sink to the bottom when i see couples, happily holding hands, oblivious to all.
i'm sick of everything.
i'm 50% sick of messaging you and not receiving your reply.
my 3 yrs single thingy is coming true.

walking zombie i am for the past 4 mths.
all my laughs.
it's fake.

My mouse's got a problem in the brain. And it's not working anymore. Pronounced as Brain-dead on 5th Feb, 12.40pm. Parents will come identify him soon at the morgue.

Which means i've got to buy a new mouse, which means money gonna be spent again. -_-"

Went KTV with Kelvin Yap, Justine, Pekhar, Jessie and Zu'er. Was fun fun fun. Stood up on the seats and sang to our heart's content. Shake here and there a bit. Or should i say ALOT? But it was fun overall. Justine's voice was feminine. -oops- Kelvin Yap's voice was okay though, a lil off-key at times. But it was such a pleasure to have em with us, considering the fact that i jus knew em not long ago. Knew as in really know them as friends. In the past, only know who were them since we were from the same secondary school. -_-""

Went Justine's place to ton after KTV. And i was sleeping like a pig. Kelvin Yap was occupyin the whole bed and the bolster and the pillow. Since i need some sleep, i snatched the bolster out of his hands and just slept to my heart's content on the hard floor. Went home @ 7am plus. Slept for 2 hours and went for tuition. Luckily, i'm nt as tired as i expected i will be.

Just promised beauty to take her down fer a walk later. Since she sat down when i commanded her to.



Came back from tuition not long ago. I'm beginning to enjoy teaching Janelle. *smirk* Glad that she scored 95 marks for her spelling, judging from her previous attempts. I would say this was really a great one. I'm so glad my efforts paid off. Jannelle, way to go!







Oh Lord, i thank you for answering my prayers. I hope my father can persist through the Vocational Taxi Driver's course and continue through the journey. Lord, please beseech me the strength to go on in my life. I feel like stopping on track in my life a few times, but it was you who encouraged me to go on and bless me with emotional stability. Thank you for helping my father to shape his character into the person you wanted him to be. Lord, i hope he can br brought closer to you. Lord, i praise you and lift your name high. You are my God. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Woke up from nap nt long ago.
dreamt of you.
that we were back together.
dream's scenario was somewhere so familiar.
your place.

i saw your father, happy for us for we were back tgt.
dream's scenario was somewhere so distant,
but i know this scene is bound to happen.
at the airport.
u were leaving.
What the f*** is wrong with me?
I thought i am supposed to be OKAY?
Or am i putting up a strong front in front of everyone?

Can't u just gimme a f***ing email and lemme know about ur current situation?
And explain to me how u feel?
avoiding me for the past 4 months.
is what u're best at.

when u're at ur saddest point, and u wan to cry,
tears just can't seem to flow out.
for it has dried up long ago.

been dreaming of you every night these few days.
ever single night, every single nap.
been thinking of u all the time.
on every bus ride.. every moment..
you won't know all these,
for you have long forgotten me.

How do you know that God loves YOU?

1) God LOVES you and offers a wonderful PLAN for your life

God's Love "God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life"(John 3:16 NIV).

2. Man is SINFUL and SEPARATED from God. Therefore, he cannot know and experience God's love and plan for his life.

3. Jesus Christ is God's ONLY provision for man's sin. Through Him you can know and experience God's love and plan for your life.

He Died in Our Place "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).

4. We must individually RECEIVE Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord; then we can know and experience God's love and plan for our lives.

He is all knowing and his love for us is unlimited. I love Jesus so much. I can feel his precense. I can feel him talking to the spiritual me every night when i prayed to him. He's a good listener and never doubts me. Thank you Jesus.

Smiling away as i am typing this entry.

Realised i am actually fortunate to be living in this world. I'm born without any defects.

I have 3 meals a day. Enough clothings. Enough money. Unconditional love by families and friends. I have 2 best buddies, my dogs. And i have best friends, good friends supporting me. Contented with my simple life.

Finally completed my revision for marketing. *heaved a sigh of relief*

Tuition's later @ 7.30pm. Been a lil worried on and off throughout the day as to whether i can cope with my revision for OM [Operation Management]. A lot of theories. and calculations and drawing of diagrams.

But guess what? I'll take things as it comes. Most importantly, i've to cherish the time between 1230 [point when i finished my marketing paper] and up to the point at ard 6pm. I've to have full concentration and focus as much as i can fer my revision. I shan't be online. If not, i'll most likely be slacking my time away in front of the comp, replying to msgs and replying to forum threads.

Rushing home aft tuition finishes fer another round of thorough revision.

Realises i have quite a lot to do.
-complete OM assignment [group] by 14th feb, 5pm.
-complete EC project by 14th feb.
-complete UTM assignment draft asap. And arrange fer a meeting session.
-complete PQS Quality Control project [my part] asap.
-start researching on ECD project aft common tests.

For the financial part,
-buy a abercrombie n fitch top.
-buy a mango top.
-buy another pair of jeans.
-buy skirts @ far east.
-collect brother's share of SCV's payment, & pay my father the money fer SCV
-inform my father to rotate payment of hp bills btw me n him for alternate months.
-join aerobics at senja comm.
-buy sports shoes.

For the spiritual part,
-continue growing in church and go 4 cell and church every weekend.
-read the books that si'er and sheryln gave.
-continue reading up on Jesus and the bible.[website]
-continue to have night prayers before i sleep.

For the daily life,
-bring dogs down fer a walk aft common tests.
-TRY TRY TRY to get my ass down for a jog.
-try a 'shopping alone experience' @ borders & town in the freetime.

All of these, i really want to do it.



Night.