My thoughts.

I think i might need to move to a 3 room flat as my father is the only one working in the family right now. And his income is not very stable. What's more, there's still the medical expenses to cover, for the operation, for my mum's chemotherapy and for the repayment of debts.

My father came inside my room, and asked me where do i want to live? Teck Whye or Bukit Batok? You know what, i really love this flat of mine, this room and all of it. But i guess i have no choice but to move. With the residual amount of money made from the sales of the flat, i really hope it can at least tide us over this crisis.

I have been feeling so down these few days. I have been doing a lot of thinking.

My mum will be going for her brain scan tomorrow. And the report should be out 2 hours later tomorrow. I'm so afraid suddenly, of what will the result be? I know i shouldn't worry this much, but i can't help it.

You know, there's been so much going on around me for the past 1 or 2 years. Indeed, it has mould me into a stronger person. Yes, a stronger me. But i'm starting to think, am i really strong for all these things which are coming my way?

Think my mum's eye would most probably be removed. Doctor says it might already be affected, but he just need a report to confirm it. I know she must be feeling so terrible inside. Beauty is the most important thing to a woman. She needs chemotherapy and all the chemo sessions will make her feel sick. And there would most probably be ulcers growing in her mouth, and she might not feel like eating most of the time. But you know what, i'm gonna be there for her all the time. :)

I was thinking, all these seem like God's plan to better my relationship between me and my family.

I hope my mother would be healed.

Jesus Christ be with me. I'll be strong.

I don't want to be defeated.

I'll stand strong.

My mum has been diagnosed with nose cancer. And she's going for another scan on Saturday to see if the thing which is growing inside her brain is cancerous. I think the inside of her nose needs to be replaced by those steel thing cos it has been affected by cancerous cells. And if those cells affected her right eye too, her right eye needs to be removed too.

She's strong. She did not shed a single tear. But instead, ask me to take care of my brother if something happens since his immunity is low. Says she has nothing to worry about since we have grown so big. Says she will trust her doctor. But she said something which made me burst into tears.

I never knew it was something so serious.

Life is fragile.

Please help me to pray for my mother. Prayer is a powerful weapon.

Father Lord, i place my trust in you.

It's a blue blue day.

First day in school just sucks to the core. Excluding the part when i was crapping with jean during tutorials, and bumping into with Grace and ST and Chongling at the canteen. Other than that, it either bore me to death or i was not enjoying it one single bit.

It just feels so weird to walk inside a tutorial room, without seeing anyone i know around. Instead, what replaces was lotsa strange and weird faces. However, i'm still glad i'm in the same class with Jean. Knowing she will be there for me cheers me up.

TUTORIAL CLASS ESPECIALLY IB TUTORIALS IS GONNA FREAK ME OUT.

Captured in my memory.

I miss my grandmother. My sweet grandmother with a nice temper who speaks Hokkien. My grandmother who holds my little hand and send me to kindergarten for classes every afternoon.

She loves to stick a small flower onto the bun hair. She grew all those flowers with sweet scent outside our unit at my previous house CCK. She loves to spread a mat and lie on the floor to watch television.

I used to buy those cigarettes on behalf of her from the provision shop downstairs. I remembered it comes in huge packs. It looks like dry grass wrapped in paper.

I used to scream and cry whenever i found her missing by my side because i was so attached to her. I scream and i stamp my foot on the floor and scream at my mother to wake up and call to check with the relatives where is my AH MA! As it turns out, she was staying overnight at Shirley's place, but the moment she heard me crying, she promised to rush back asap. I'm sorry for being so rebellious.

I can't remember much of you, but i do know i miss you very much.

She was admitted to hospital when there was blood in her urine. She refused to go to the hospital but i remembered my daddy insisted she go to the hospital for a thorough check up. The whole family 4 of us, were sitting on the van, on the way to the hospital, i felt as though she was never going to come back. Yes, it was this feeling which made me look at her and hold her hands like she was going to part with us forever.

I can't remember the details. But i remembered the nurses tying her up with white cloth around the hospital bed because she was trying to get up and go home, when she obviously has to stay in hospital for observation. At that instant, i felt a sharp pain in my heart and i cried.

The last minute of your life, i wasn't by your side.

The ignorant me was still outside your ward, happily playing away. I wanted so much to go inside and bid farewell to you, but i can't. The adults doesn't allow me to go in, saying that it was inauspicious and not very nice for children to see these kind of things.

She passed away when i was in Primary 1.

It's so heartwarming to look at her photos and the things she left behind.

You'll always be in my memories. Forever and ever. Nothing ever changes.

I love you.

Jesus, i believe in You.

Yibin asked me where should we go after lunch tomorrow? I told him maybe we should proceed to the toilet and shit. He drew me this. I just find it so cute. I mean, i thought it's quite difficult to draw something decent using the mouse? Great work. *claps claps*

I won't be going for lecture tomorrow. It's a 2 hours lecture only and the module is "Training & Development". It sounds so thereotical right? Since my dearest sister Jean isn't going to be here since she's in Hongkong/China for her exchange programme, i guess i won't be going 4 lecture. Don't know anyone from my class anyway. Jean baby, come back soon!

My brother is having his holidays now. I'm glad he's growing well in his faith as a Christian. I see him reading the bible every now and then. And he also reads my "Every Day with Jesus - For New Christians" booklet. And while chatting via MSN just now, we touched on the topic of Christianity. I'm so glad to see him walking this journey with Jesus Christ our Lord. Yes Father, thank you for answering my prayers. Salvation is here!

Yesterday, i looked through the entries of my previous blogs. And i noticed a significant change in the way i blog, the things i talked about and my writing style. Things have certainly changed over the last 1 to 2 years. From living a life with no purpose to living a purpose driven life in Christ Jesus. It has been a big change, a change for the better.

I used to get angry over the slightest things, complain over the slightest things. I took things for granted and i did not realise the importance of how some things are to me. I used to think i'm living in the worse scenario in this world.

Even reading through it, i could feel the child like thinking there was in those blog entries. I felt shame for even feeling that way in the past as i read through all the entries. Initially i thought i would feel very sad when i read about the memories of Ben and me, but i did not. I read through all these with a peaceful mindset, with no tears stinging my eyes. It was the biggest accomplishment i have had in months.

I realised all these were stepping milestones to what i had today. Through all the things i experienced, i learnt to be patient, to be self content, to be strong, to treasure the people around me etc etc etc. And of course, i got to know God better through these series of "obstacles". I accepted Christ and i was baptised.

I thank you God for the blessings you have showered me with. I'm thankful to you every minute every second, in all things. I won't hide it, Jesus I believe in you and i have faith in you.

"And without Faith, it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Hebrews 11:6

Reaching for You.

"I can't believe the way
Your love has got a hold on me
Each morning I wake to find You near
You lift me above my fears
And set my feet on solid ground
All of my days belong to You

And I breathe in Your breath of life that fills my heart
You are my all consuming fire

I stand here before You
In wide opened wonder
Amazed at the glory of You
The power of heaven
Revealing Your purpose in me
As I'm reaching for You"

The past is gone, A new creation in Christ.

Hmmm, i came back home from lunch with my cousin. I saw my mum drying the clothes. She looks kind of weary. And i wonder how many more years can she actually accompany and see me as i grow up? How many years more? How many?

Her right eye kind of swell up a little and it kinda have a black patch under her eye. It's not dark eye rings or whatever. But she looks as if she kana boxed by someone. It's that kind of black patch. Seeing her like this makes me worried and heartpain. Still don't know if it's just an infection or tumour. I certainly and pray hard that it won't be anything serious.

I'm so thankful for all the friends who has been supporting me from the very start. They shared all my happiness and my sorrows. These friends are indeed an important part of my life. You make me whole again. Thank you for all your understanding and encouragement. I really appreciate it a lot. =)

Just wanna tell ______ that persecution is part of Christian's life which all Christians have to face. Don't give up just because they persecute you and make you feel shame, instead continue to hold on to God's hand and let him guide you along and continue to glorify his name. He is our Father, our friend, our King. He loves you a lot. Don't turn your back on him because you know, no matter what you do, he will never turn his back on you. Let him come into your life and breathe in you once again, my dear. I'll be here for you no matter what. I'll give you the encouragement to enable you to go on. I'll be with you no matter what, just like our Father in Heaven will be for you. You are his little princess in his garden, do him proud.

Pictures of the baptism. Came a little late. But i guess better late than never, isn't it? Uploaded only a few pictures. Quite lazy to upload. It's so irritating typing the HTML coding and resizing the pictures. Thank You Shu Huai for the belated baptism present today, which comes with a really cute plastic bag. Thank You Sister for your lovely gift though i haven't opened it as it is with Pekhar.

Gonna meet up with Pekhar sometime this week. Haven't had a real chance to catch up with her ever since she came back from her trip. But anyway, her developed digital camera pictures costs a lot. $60 plus. But i just saw part of the pictures during service today. Germany is really cool.. Really beautiful sceneries.. I wanna go there too! Pekhar, let's go there when we r older ya? =)


Starting of the baptism service. Praying.


Getting ready at the pool.


Me submerged in water. Looks a little distorted. Hehehe.


Reading the prayer after emerging from the water.


Rhys getting ready to be submerged.


The past is gone. A new creation in Christ.


Candle ceremony insde St Andrew Cathedral.




Cindy Magdelene, Ivy and Tracy Tiffany. Beautiful lighting.

Mum went Singapore General Hospital for a check up and a Pre Admissions test. She will be warded on wednesday morning at 7am, for some surgical test. It's a mini test, not surgery whereby they will numb her whole body and let her sleep and do some test on her. To see if there's any tumour growing inside. Hmmm i certainly hope not. Whole X-Ray, blood test, check up at the Ear Nose Throat Center lasted for 3 hours. And we were moving from department to department.

Dad drove us there and accompanied my mum for the whole check up. Hope this will allows him to know the pain my mum is going through, and even understand her a little better.

But anyway, i was sleeping on the van and then suddenly the van stopped. And i woke up, saying "HAH? ZHE LI SHI NA LI???" I woke up, seriously feeling blurred. And the backview of the place looks somewhat like a church. I was in a bit of shock too. Why will my father drive us to a church?

Anyway, it ended up he went there to pay respects to my 2nd aunt which i have never heard of until just now. She's a Catholic. Her name is Mary Ann See Seow Beng. Hmmmm Looks exactly like mine. 2 Christian names and the original name. Prayed for her too. I hope she's happy in heaven now.

Came back home and had a little nap. Mum had a nap too. Glad she slept cos she haven't been slping for the past few days. Hmmm, then woke up and called Chess King. Had a nice chat with him. Vacuumed and mop the whole house, which made me sweat like mad. Result of not exercising. Xiao Peng You, Bu Yao Mo Fang Jie Jie Never Exercise okie? Jie Jie Shi You Lian Guo De Oh.

I'm not giving up hope. I still have faith and trust in my God, Jesus Christ.

God has been speaking to me recently through verses, spelling the thoughts which are on my mind and telling me that he cares and loves me a lot. Everytime i switch on my laptop, there will be verses appearing on my software which is so much like what's happening around me. He knows how i feel and what's happening around me. He knows everything. He should, since he's the creator of mankind and the universe.

"Cast all your anixiety on him , because he loves you." 1 Peter 5:7

It's funny the way things are. I'm always injuring Yibin. I stepped on his toe, i knocked his head, i knocked his nose. Little accidents are always happening. I'm a BIG CLUMSY ELEPHANT!!!! So sorry honey! I will try to be more ladylike from now on okie? You are the instructor, teach me how to be more ladylike bah! I love YOU!

Yesterday was my last day @ Coca Cola. Patrick took us out for lunch at Jack's Place. Hmmm, we had a 2 hours plus lunch. Took lotsa pictures with them. Will upload soon. Saw Nicholas & another NP girl there too. Guess his company took them out for lunch too. It's such a coincidence! =) They gave us lotsa premiums from Coca Cola. We brought back a foldable chair, and many more. Will take pictures of them soon ya?

Btw i love this blog skin.

Mum's sleeping. ShHhHhhH.

Pictures of the steamboat dinner is here! *grins* Screams "FINALLY!" !


Stupid Regina, acting MONKEY.


Regina and Jasonz(her bf - UFO) Which stands for Ugly, Fat Old. She gave him the nick. :P


Me + Yibin, the Chess King.


Steamboat. *Yummy*


Me and the Dong fen! YAHOOOO!!!!


Regina and her choco, Chocolate Temptation @ some cafe in PS.


Banana Split.


ACT EXTRA!


Regina, Mun and Me. S.H.E.

Mun Mun & Me! =)

Updating this in the midst of work. Hmmm, Work's boring. Nothing to do! We're chatting away.. Hahahahaha! It'd my 2nd last day here.. I'm gonna miss this place and the people here..!!

I love my blog. Simple. Essence of simplicity.

"... I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance." ~ Philippians 1:19(NIV)

I was down for the day until i saw this verse when i switched on my laptop.

My mum told me a lot of things. About my family, and stuffs about my ______. It made me think a lot, ponder and plan. I thought of all the past actions that _____ did. And all the cause and effect thingy. Because you did this, that's why we became like this.

All these talk made me downcast. But it also made me understand more to what my mum experienced throughout the years. Yes, i understand it has been so tough on her. And i definately would love the chance to be able to be financially stable in order to support her. I would love to give her household allowances, and ask her to go for spas & massages with me, take her for holidays and drive her around. :) It has been on my mind since when i was 12 yrs old. And i'm so glad i'm only 1 year away from actually, realising it.

Yes, i had a talk with my Sister Sabrina! I definately feel better after talking to her. Thank you for lending me your ear. Your ear has been a good listening ear. Hahaha. :) *HUGS*

Father Lord, I LOVE YOU!

Can't help but to worry.

Hope my mum's alright. She's resting at home now after a check up at GlenEagles Hospital. She sounds so weak and tired over the phone. :( Hmmm. Her check up alone costs $500 after undergoing a nose cleanup. And there was lil lumps of thing coming out. Not really sure what that means but i'm definately hoping it's not some serious thing.

She will be going for another scan to see if there's any tumor growing inside her nose. And i think it will cost another $500.

Even more sure now, that i'll be working after i graduate from Poly to support my family. Hopefully i'll save enough money to even, pursue my university education. I do not wish to strain my parents anymore. It has been such a financial burden on them to put me through Polytechnic. The endless arguments over the fees. I know, i understand and i won't blame them.

A far fetched dream of being a nurse. Dreams are expensive to pursue. There must be willing sacrifices of time and money.

Thank You Regina, Mun, Yibin and Feng Yi for even helping me to book a taxi this morning for my mummy. All of you are BLESSINGS FROM HEAVEN!

Just 1 more year, Daddy & Mummy. 1 more year. 1 more year before i graduate. Hang on.

Dinner with Grace, Siew Teng & Regina was great. Caught up with each other & joke around as usual. How time flies, especially when you're in good company, time just seems to fly past even without you realising. We had dinner at NYDC at Wheelock Place, and ended up taking pictures using Regina's digi at one of the stool tables there. Acted as if it was our own home, own privacy. But luckily, there were no people around as it was already past closing time. *phew*

Shall upload the pictures here soon alright? After REGINA send me. So Regina, see this yups? Click on me in MSN and send me the pictures now. And i'll send u the video that we took using my handphone. Let this be an exchange. You give me the photos, i give u the videos. Nice deal right? *oops* Hehehe.

Event at Orchard Mandarin was alright. Basically was there to stand like some display vases. Packed and load the dispenser, Ice Mountain mineral bottles. We stood there like goondos, and tried to focus on the speaker's speech on Equity, Assets, Cash blah blah blah. 60 over companies's representatives were there. Btw, Tommy's driving almost caused me to have an accident. He was driving on the 2nd lane and he forgot to slot in his cashcard for the ERP gate, and he was fumbling around for his card while his car went out of the 2nd lane and almost knocked onto another car cos his hands wasn't on the steering wheel. What a close shave right? And blur king KIN NG did not check the venue of the event carefully, and we were late for an hour. Other suay things include, Tommy was so pissed at the security guard for he blocked us from using the guest lift and insisted we use the goods lift so he kept scolding the 3 letter word.

Sylvia(Tommy's wife) told Tommy in the morning that me and her was fighting a battle in the night as i kept snatching the blanket in my sleep, which was of course, unintentional. And it was so funny when Tommy told me what his wife said. Hahaha. I slept with her at Tommy's place yesterday night. The bed was soooo comfortable! Oh gosh!

*sighs* Btw, my mum is going to hospital tomorrow to have a check up, and to see if she needs an operation. Hmmm, hope she will be okie soon. Gave her money for her to take a cab to hospital tomorrow. She's so pale. And she will be calling me when she wants to leave, so i can book a cab for her. Hais, really hope she can get well soon. It hurts to see her so pale, so weak and so tired everyday. I'm glad my da gugu is better now, after reading Xiaohan's blog.

Btw thank you Sister Celine, for always being here for me and caring about me.

Take care YOU guys.

I miss honey so much. so so so much.

Reporting Live from Tommy's place.

Staying over at his place with Chen Yian. Just finished some Calbee Potato Chips and Coca Cola and watched around 10mins of Sex and the City and then came over to blog. Regina is not staying over as she will be taking over Rowena's telesales stuffs. Will be following Kin and Tommy to Marina for some Apex Roadshow Event, and we have to reach at 830am. It's super early which is the reason why we have to stay over as Tommy can drive us there! =)

And oh my, his place is really a nice place, with really moden interior designs. His fish tank in the living room is enough for me to take s amall dive inside. And he told us that each fish in his tank costs around 2k, which is a lot. Goodness ME.

And his doggie Coco seems to be super scared of me, maybe because Beauty & Rosy were with me just now before i came up, so the smell of other dogs on my body is still pretty strong.

Hmmm, anyway, i'm gonna be so busy this week. With tuitions and meeting ups and Youth Cell Retreat this coming weekend, i doubt i will ever have time for other things this week. Btw, i'll be going chalet this coming sat with my youth group! I'm so excited!

Help me pray for my mother okie? Looks like she might need an operation on her nose area for some infected don't know what thing. Hmmm. Think it might cost around 1k and i certainly hope we will even have the money to pay for it. But anyway, i'm sure God will bring me through all these. I have faith in Jesus!

I'm going to sleep now. *yawns*

Btw Yibin, don't feel sad about your hair ya? You're just not used to it! It will be okie soon in a while time. Anyway, i think you definately looks good in your new hairstyle. Hope we can even dig out time to meet each other as this week looks like a busy week ahead of us.

Will be having dinner with Regina, Grace and Siew Teng in town after work tomorrow. I'm sure it'll be a good dinner, with lotsa updates and stuffs. Too bad Jean, Wendy and Chongling can't make it, if not, it'll be an even better catch up session! I miss hanging out with those girls mans. *sobs*

I ask of God's protecting hands to even protect these ladies and to even help them to safeguard their property well during their trip. May they gain wisdom and knowledge through all the business meetings conducted in Hong Kong, Shen Zhen and other parts.

Take care of each other over there yeaps? I'll missing all of ya whole lotsa. *muacks*

Praise the Lord. Completed my baptism. I'm so happy, i'm so glad that i have found YOU! Yes Lord, No doubt i'm so happy and so glad that i have YOU in my life. Father Lord, thank you for being in my life, and for even welcoming me in your family.

One funny thing was, i choked on the water when Pastor Timothy and Hui Ling helped me to submerge into the water. I came up, breathless and choking and coughing on the water. Not to mention, i was a living water fountain. I was spitting out water (heard from Rhys, din know i was spitting water out so obviously). And i accidentally cough the water onto Hui Ling's face, Oops. I'm so sorry, i din mean it.

Was actually quite blurred when Pastor Timothy drew the cross on my forehead as i couldn't see anything. My vision were kinda blurred from all the water which was in my eyes. But thankfully, my contact lenses din drop and it was still intact! =) And still blurry when i was reading the prayer in the water. "Fight valiantly under the banner of Christ . . . . . . . "

Any idea why i remembered that prayer? Well, Gladys, Rhys and I were actually dumb enough to memorise the whole thing when we were on our way to St Andrew Cathedral. We were testing and speaking out loud the prayer, trying hard to remember. Somewhat like last minute work. It was so hilarious, you should have seen the way we were talking to ourselves, trying to remember hard. *laughs*

After that, Candice my dearest and sweet sponsor prayed for me after she handed me my towel. She was so nice to help me carry my bag and towel from the church to the pool though it wasn't that far, but still appreciate it. Thank You CANDICE! =)

After that, changed into dry clothes and went into the church for another round of service. This time, each one of us shared our testimony using the microphone. Voice was super loud, but i'm glad i wasn't that nervous and everything went smoothly. Thank You Lord, for even helping me to get through this smoothly. Had a candle ceremony, sang some worship songs and then we had to stand in a straight line while the rest of the church came to welcome us into the big family by giving us hugs, handshakes, verbal congrats and presents. I din know that there would be so many presents! But very glad, and very heartwarming to hug all these newfound brothers and sisters of mine in e name of Christ. Thank You all for the presents SO much! *hugs* I can really feel the sincere welcome in their hugs.

And of course, Pekhar's finally back today! She was late actually, woke up at 915 while i was at Plaza waitin for her. Of course, i called her, sensing something was amiss. Ended up she was still sleeping. -_-"" But well, din want to waste time. Went to the toilet to tidy my hair and 7-11 to buy breakfast for her and myself. And then we took cab down to German Center.

I was baptised by the Holy Spirit during service today. Whole procedure was, I went forward to be baptised by the Holy Spirit, Pastor touched my forehead and prayed and i fell backwards and i could feel the Holy Spirit coming into me. And i started crying. Father Lord, thank you for not forsaking me during all these times though i had sinned before. I want to thank you for even coming into me and breathing and living within me. I can really feel your presence there today Lord.

Anyway, back to photos time.

Pekhar & Rhys

Switzerland's chocolate. Nice!

Chocolate in packaging which looks like cigarette.

Thank You Pekhar, for buying this sweater for me. It's so cool, i love it!

She bought a set of 7 dwarves too. 7 dwarfs is a group formed by 7 people back in AES, which includes my 6 other good friends and myself. I'm SLEEPY the character cos i always yawn, no matter what i'm doing.

Drew this and sticked it onto my office whenever we r out for lunch. It's lame, isn't it?

It's 12.58pm now.

Going to be baptised later. I can feel God standing there, ready to welcome me into his big family.

Did my renounciation of ancestor worship yesterday night. I felt peace overcome me. Father Lord, i know you are always there, watching over me. I finally did my quiet time after countless days. I want to confess, i have been making excuses not to do my quiet time. I'm too tired to do my quiet time. But i realised all these are not valid excuses, I'm not disciplined enough.

Glad i made the effort to do my quiet time yesterday while listening to worship songs. Thanks to Gladys for even reminding me to do my QT. =]

I want to be God's lil princess in his kingdom of heaven. I want to do you proud O Father Lord. Draw me closer to you.

It's 1.05pm. I haven't packed my bag and i haven't bathe. Sharing cab with Gladys, Rhys and Gladys's Mum to St Andrew Cathedral.

To be frank, i'm a little disappointed & sad that my parents can't make it for my baptism. They have to work. I just smsed my father to ask if he would be coming. He called immediately, and apologize as he can't come since he hafta work. My brother is having his church at 4pm, can't go either. =(

Father Lord, i'm ready to gain entry into your huge family. My brothers and Sisters in the name of Christ, i'm coming! *hugs*

It's Friday, the 13th May. And it's self declared Coussie's Day for Shirley, Xiaohan and Myself. It has been agreed that we shall live in harmony for this particular day, setting aside all disagreements, all differences aside, and settle for a happy and joyous day, appreciating these cute lovely pretty cousins of mine.

Shall follow the format of Kerin(Shirley)'s blog.

Anyway these 2 dumb cousins of mine has been calling me "Smelly Toufu Ah Sao" ever since they got to know that i went to eat Smelly Doufu with Yibin once. It's such an awful nickname, stop it please. *cheesez*

Introducing Shirley : 21 years old. We stayed in the same block when we were living at one of the oldest building in Outram Park. She stayed in the upper floor while i stayed at the lower floor. I forgot which level. But i remember we always hung out together and there will be this bbq outside my house's corridor, and all our neighbours and including Xiaohan & Shirley & Gwen & Ah Leng will be joining us. At that time, stil doesn't know them well and i was also too shy to talk to them. Ah Ma still made jelly, and her famous ngoh hiang. I think it was my birthday or something. I miss AH MA. Ah ma, you'll always be in my heart, forever and ever.

Introducing Xiaohan : 20 years old. Reaching the "Prime" time of her life where her age starts with a 2 instead of a 1. Only got closer to her when we were in secondary school. She was in CCKSS while i was in AES. Used to write letters often, telling each other how our life went, stuffs about relationships schools and families. I was always waiting for the arrival of her letter those days, and i got really excited when i received her letter. Remembered her telling me of her ex-boyfriend, Z__i____. Really glad to have her as my sister until now. It has been years and she never fails to cheer me up and even, standing by me all the time. Used to write letters with Shirley too. My 2 best friends, cousins and listening ears!

Shirley and Xiaohan, *hugs*. You two are such great sistas of mine. I want the two of you to be my bridesmaid in future should i get married one day. *smiles*

Just got back home from a movie with Yibin. Movie's great. (House of Wax) Met up with Alvin and his girlfriend before that. His girlfriend is sure a sweet babe. Alvin's my attachment colleague and also, Yibin's "Lao Da". *smirks*

Baptism's tomorrow! Getting really excited. It's at St Andrew's Cathedral, have to be there at 3pm. Meeting Rhys at 130pm. I hope she won't be late if not i'll let her see how a flying slipper looks like. *grins grins*

I have got to do my renounciation and quiet time now.

Shall upload pictures of baptism here soon.Pekhar's reaching Singapore at 9am tomorrow. I hope she will be coming for baptism. I wanna hug her when i see her. Girl, if u sees this, just wanna tell you i love u alot. I'm not a lesbian btw. *gees*

I'm so glad that Pekhar's coming back tomorrow. My bestie will be around with me AGAIN!

Sometimes i feel i have so little close friends. I feel i have no one to turn to. It's so difficult to find even one person, who's on close terms with me, who will even understand my feelings. The overwhelming feeling of loneliness & helplessness struck me and i'm stripped of all i have within me, standing in the midst of the streets, looking as the world goes by.

Disappointment is what people sees in me.

Where's the peace i yearn to find within me?

Dazed and confused.

It's weighing on me every minute, and it's making me breathless as the world spins past me.

Was feeling super pissed with my hair today. Pissed at everything i see in sight.

I wanted so much, to rebond my hair temporarily. Actually had the tendency to rebond my hair at Jean Yip, was standing right outside Jean Yip, but did not enter because of the steep price. Decided on the teck whye salon, but did not go again as the rebonding effect will only last for a few hours since the rest of the time, i'll be sleeping and when i wake up, hair will be messy again.

Walked around for a while after buying the tops with them, and proceeded to Mac for a drink. Gladys shared about her experience with God, and Rhys too. It's always good to hear about the works of God and what he had done through the lives of these 2 fabulous buddies of mine. And it's always nice meeting up with them.

Realised my blog is always pictureless. Doesn't seem that interesting anymore, without pictures right?

Btw, i just hit my phone against the LCD screen, and gosh, i'm feeling a pinch in my heart. *slaps myself*

Did brainstorming for the marketing department today. Spend half of the day inside the room, grouped in small groups and answering questions that they asked us. Also evaluated the Coca Cola advertisments that they showed us. Very creative advertisments, i would say. Never been broadcasted in Singapore. I had a great time discussing with my group mates, which includes 2 secondary school girls, Shiya & Leong(NTU interns). Great people with a wacky sense of humour.

Next week shall be my last week of my attachment, and i'm sure i'm gonna miss the people and the place. Namely Tommy, Jed, Kin, Patrick and of course all the NP interns who's attached there currently. I'll cherish the little time i have left for attachment.

Recently have to do some research on the retail markets of Singapore, and name the major players in the various sectors/categories. And the best part is, Patrick allows us to go off at 3pm to shopping malls for some surveying of the retails stores there. And we'll be going to AMK for a condo meeting on Monday. Sucky part is, we'll be travelling there by MRT on our own. Of course, Patrick only allowed us to go after numerous naggings by Regina, while i just stood there and eat the rojak Tommy bought for us. Typical me right? Always attracted to food.

Read an email Rhys forwarded me, it's so true. And i feel as if the whole email is directed at me. I believe i have forwarded to some of you, right? Hmmm, spend some time to read it okie? The email is named "How much do we have for him?"

Isn't it funny how $10 looks so big when you take it to church and so small when you take it to the fast food?

Isn't it funny how hard it is to read a chapter in the Bible and how it is easy to read a few hundred pages in a best seller?

Isn't it funny how big an hour of worshipping God with others on Sunday looks, and how small 60 minutes are when we are playing sports, watching TV or shopping with our classmates?

Isn't it funny how we can not think of anything to say when we pray, but have no difficulty thinking of things to say over the phone to a friend?

Isn't it funny how it seems that we need two or more weeks to fit a group meeting into our schedule, but are able to adjust it for a social invitation at the last minute?

*cross fingers & hoping that Janelle will be able to score for tomorrow's exams*

I'm seriously getting quite baised, beginning to favor Janelle more than Hyren & Zam. Janelle learns things faster, and can joke around with me. And even wakes me up when i dozes off.

Hyren eats an apple pie, with the sauce dripping onto his singlet, and with the other free hand trying desperately to write the chinese character. And after a while, he shouts for his mum to bring him a glass of water. Then, lies on the desk and complains that i 'forced' him to write so many words, and kept saying that he's tired.

Zam shouts her answer to me in my face, with her lil kid brother coming up to me, and shouting alien language in my face while flashing his new toy right in front of my eye from left to right, making me dizzy. And Melissa and husband will be shouting for the lil kid brother to scram to the room and stop disturbing us.

I'm not bad mouthing them, but i just find this family cute and lively. In a way, Hyren & Zam are actually helping me to mould my patience and even sharpen & better my teaching skills. They are active & healthy kids which i adore dearly, but somehow my patience level ain't that high and sometimes i really wanted to just, stop tutoring them. But i know this isn't the right way, i must be a responsible tutor! I must sharpen their Mandarin Language!

I'm quite confident to say that, Janelle will be able to score high marks for her exams. And i'm pleased with her learning attitude and all.

I should kick off my baised attitude towards my students, and learn to face these lively students with a complete newly adopted attitude which will be fair to them. Adopting changes in process.

Suddenly remembered what my father told me during Mother's Day in the van,

"This world is filled with trickery. Be very careful. Satan does not come in the form of an ugly old man with rags as its clothes, but he will come in suits, ties and briefcases. There are temptations all around in whatever forms it can come in."

Yibin came to fetch me from tuition yesterday. He came all the way down from Bukit Panjang though i told him not to, it's okie since Haddad's passing him some games stuff. He accompanied me home, and i feel so blessed for having him around. Felt we can talk so much more when he's not driving, as he doesn't have to focus on the road and stuffs.

Driving is convenient alright, but somehow it just takes the lil pleasure away compared to taking public transport. The essence of simplicity lies here.

It's been 12 days and the number keeps on increasing. *all smiles*

Meeting Rhys & Gladys tomorrow after work to buy the tops for Baptism. Never knew Baptism would be such a chore until you met us. The problems lies and begins with us. We asked stupid questions like, "Can we wear contact lenses when we go under the water?" & "Should we wear goggles when we go under the water?" But well, it's very entertaining and we can spend hella minutes just thinking and laughing at our own jokes. I'm so nervous for baptism. All 10 of us will have to give a testimony, Pastor Tim requested it.

Yibin will be coming for my baptism and i'm so worried that i'll get tongue tied. Hopefully, i won't yeah? Pray that my testimonial will be a smooth one. Hopefully, weather will be good that day and I'll be one of the first few to go into the water befire Rhys. Don't want her hair wax to stain the whole pool. Oops. *I'll probably get killed by her when your read this.*

Anyway, i'm lazy to update anymore. BYE.

You made me smile & make my day.

Every moment with you, i'll cherish it dearly.

Who's the dearest in your life right now?

Is it your
-mother
-father
-boyfriend/girlfriend
-husband/wife
-friends

Think about it.

Sometimes, we are so occupied by the earthly desires or matters which actually distance us from our family members. And we never got to realise all this until our dearest family members are actually gone from this world. And time does not give you a chance to regret, and makeup for all the things which you haven't done.

Be it work, relationships, studies or whatever.

Perhaps you might want to spend a moment to think about it, and perhaps even fork out more time to spend with your family. And treaure the time you have with them.

After all, family members are still the dearest.

Back to my day, was at church for half the day. From 10am till around 4pm. Was having this briefing for baptism next week by Pastor Tim and i realised everything will be happening so soon. I'm still not quite prepared for it mentally for it to happen so soon, still thought it would be like, 1 more month away. *geez*

All the 9 of us who will be getting baptised will be giving our testimony. And guess what, i'm quite nervous about it -AGAIN- I guess i'll hafta bring a lot of things. Clothes to change, slippers, comb blah blah. It's so much like going to a chalet.

Oh yeah, one good news! Celine will be getting baptised with us as well. Her adopted name for Baptism is Emiko. So her full name will be Celine Emiko Chan Hui Juan. Looks quite long right? Mine is the same length as hers. Cindy Leticia See Xing Li. I'm so satisfied with my new name. *double grins* So that leaves Pekhar who's not getting baptised with us this time round, but well, i'll be there to watch and support you for your baptism the next time round, bestie! =]

Went to Sabrina's place with Si'er, Rhys and Gladys after a long chat with Tina and company. Played with her rabbit. Nono, i should say i was finding food to eat most of the time. I was actually VERY BUSY finding food and eating while they played with the rabbit. I finished the leftovers of her Muchi Ice Cream, Oopsie! Sorry Sab!

Si'er was tired until he fell asleep, and Rhys and Myself were actually whispering in monotone sort da voice "qing jiao qing jiao.. yao bu yao chi qing jiao". I think he was awakened by us with that sickening voice. We were actually trying to make him remember all those words sub-consciously so that the next song he writes will be about Qing Jiao. Ho Ho Ho. No link right? But never mind, just laugh anyway. My "jokes" are so not funny nowadays. Complete failure.

Going for dinner with family soon. Just saw my brother came back in his formal wear. He said he was performing for his church, some singing stuffs. Hafta wear formal mar in church. But it's weird though, HIM? SING??!! When his singing is like off tune?! Okie whatever, shan't reveal too much. Oopsie.

I feel so sians thinking, that i'll be having tuition tomorrow and tuesday. My kid's exams are on Wed! I'm stressed stressed stressed! Trying my best to help them to score 100 marks! Or rather whatever marks they can get with their ability!

Thank you for tonight, it has been a marvellous night with you around by my side.

Just reached home from Yibin's place. Had dinner over there and watched a DVD on his laptop. I'm addicted to sleeping, i think i was sleeping half the time. His bed was realli too cosy, so i ended up sleeping. But somehow, din managed to fall into deep sleep. I was never one who could sleep easily at other places unless it's my own bed and own place.

Just finished a pack of prawn crackers and a packet of orange juice. I guess i'm getting more and more pig. It's the same in the office and still the same at home. I wonder if i can ever slim down when school reopens. I sure hope so dude. =]

Working at Neptunes tomorrow for Mother's Day Event. Hope everything will run smoothly, no hiccups, no nothing. And of course, hope we manages to close a lot of sales. Only then will we be able to actually nag Tommy to bring us for dinner at a more high class restaurant. Having dinner with em tomorrow. Maybe it ain't such a bad thing. At least we doesn't have to pay, the 3 of us -Chen Yian, Regina and Myself!-

Btw i'll be wearing this Coca Cola grey short sleeve polo t shirt tomorrow. It looks like crap. But whatever, no one is gonna take hella notice. But i'll be taking photos for sure. *grins* Regina and Chen Yian will be IN for it again tomorrow. They have never liked taking photos, so taking photos to them is a chore while it's such a joyful thing for me to do!

Have to read up on the water categories, promotion package, and other details before i actually leave for work. I hope my brain cells is working though. If not Tommy is gonna nag at me for not reading up earlier. Yeah, whatever. Jed is driving us to Neptunes tomorrow. But i'll still hafta go Fajar to meet him, Hais. What a chore, why can't he just drive over to my place and pick me up? But Yeah whatever, he sure is damn lazy.

Right now at this moment, my eyes are telling me they wanna sleep. But my brain tells me nt to sleep as i want very much to chat with Yibin still. Really had a nice time with him and i know i'm gonna miss him so much this weekend. But anyway guys, have a great Mother Day's celebration yeah? And treat your mums real good not only during Mother's Day, but everyday ya? *hugs*

Rest time.

I'm feeling so sleepy now. *yawns* Can't help but to yawn. I yawned for the whole day at work. Spend part of my time at work sleeping, eating, drinking, surfing blogs and going to the toilet to pee. Seriously kinda sick of office work life. It's repetitive and super boring. I hate this, though i love my colleagues!

Kept having the urge to drift off to dreamland at work.

Went to Plaza with Yibin for Long John. He accompanied me for dinner though he was going to have his dinner at home. Went to play the PhotoHunt also cos i suddenly had an urge to play that. And of course, will never miss the "Pet Aquarium" while i'm at Plaza. Cute hamsters & rabbits. I love rabbits! Saw one cute lil rabbit munching on its food, happily. Felt like pinching it.

Caught red handed by Manping. She's still the same old blurry Manping. Didn't see me until i actually had to block her from walking to make her realise my existence. *bishs* Wake up wake up! Manping, don't sleep while you walk, okie? *hugs* Just joking.

Jed took us out for a short lunch after my own lunch at the canteen with my colleagues. Ordered a whole big plate of fruits, and the best part was i got to eat 3/4 of the fruits. Was actually quite hungry though i had a whole bowl of laska earlier at the canteen. But the laska was tasteless & bland, doesn't live up to expectations. Disappointed.

Watching House of Wax with Yibin tomorrow. So excited, have been dying to watch that for ages. And i hope it'll be good cos you know why? Movie tickets are gonna cost a bomb tomorrow. $9.50. If the movie doesn't turn out to be nice, i'm damn sure i'm gonna flung my slippers at the movie screen and fly to Paris to beat Paris Hilton up and then check her handphone for the director's number and then curse and swear at him. Hahaha. Nah, just joking. Please laugh. :)

I'm missing my sweet bf so much now.

I'm so happy, i'm so glad that i've got YOU! *sounds so familiar uh? this is the theme song of my 2 cousins, Shirley & Xiaohan* It's so funny when they sings it. I think it goes something like that bah. Hmmm. But really wanna dedicate this short song above to my dear.

Even though u told me not to thank you for fetching me home from tuition just now, i still wanna thank you THANK you & still Thank YOU! I'm so touched that you actually made an effort to ask me where my student's block is and drive there, pick me up and then drive me home. *hugs* I feel so happy whenever you are around.

Regina and I were planning an outing for next Saturday. And we were listing down the places/activities to go/do and the no of people who should be going. I guess we're a bit bo liao but know what, we laughed through the whole planning session. I'm so loving this sis of mine! Regina voted for Steamboat at Marina while i voted for Movies/dinner. And of course, she had more votes. Chen Yian was so frustrated by the "noisi-ness" we were creating while pestering him to support either of us that he actually asked if one more activity can be added, which is his fav hobby : Sleeping. I almost wanted to take the PC and flung at him, which i didn't of course. Y**** mei mei would be so sad if i flung the PC at him. (P/s: I'll force him to read my blog tomorrow at work to make sure he reads this, *smirks*)

Anyway, i'm working this saturday at one of the condos at town area for a Ice Mountain Mother's Day Event, along with Regina and Chen Yian. My "hao huo ban". I hope it'll be a good experience, and certainly hopefully with good pay. But the thing is, i won't be able to celebrate Mother's day with my mother. But i think i'll be buying a Sookee necklace or anklet for her. Hopefully will be able to pull in my dad and bro's share. Hmmm must go and see what's there to buy maybe tomorrow after work.

Yeah, going to watch "house of wax" with King of Chess on Friday!

I'm so touched by what Regina & Chen Yian does for me at times. When i say i don't want to eat because i'm not hungry cos i ate SOMEONE's bread, Chen Yian asked 2 portions of rice which is super a lot from the auntie and forced me to eat cos he was afraid i was hungry or something like tt. And Regina kept nagging at me during lunch that i will get gastric pain if i don't eat. I mean nagging as in good intention. And after that, i was too hungry after 2 hours. Regina accompanied me to hunt for biscuits but oh man, the world is cruel. Not even a single decent piece of biscuit left for me, only crumbs. So Regina pressurised me to go to the canteen and buy a sandwich. I mean, though all these may mean nothing to them, but i mean, it means a lot to me.

I swear i'm gonna cherish these 2 buds of mine.

God sprinkles his blessings around me, like i say before, the blessings are all the friends around me. I love all of you so much so much so so much. Very much very much very very much.

I'm so glad. I can't explain or describe the amount of joy i have inside me.

My brother has started going to church, his friend's church. I'm so glad that God has even speak to him and touched his heart. But i'm still not sure as to whether he has accepted Christ as his savior yet. But let's see, i'm gonna invite him and his friend perhaps for my baptism. Hmmm.

Saw him holding the bible yesterday and i was kinda shocked. I asked him what he was going to do with the bible and he replied that he was going to read it. And i was stunned for a moment of course. Although i think his service is in Chinese, i don't think this actually hinders a problem as i think he's more comfortable with Chinese. Nvm, i'll ask hm thrg sms later.

He send me a sms letting me know that everything is alright after a storm and he gave me his best wishes me for bf and myself. So sweet right.

I love this lil brother of mine to bits and pieces. *going off to work now*

Good bye.

My eyes have become so red from rubbing it. I guessed it's the works of my contact lense again. Or perhaps some shampoo got inside, which is super irritating my eyes right now.

Just got back home. Hehehe, i had a very nice day today with my dear! Went IMM and shop a lil and ate Mac. And of course, we're the typical slow-eaters. I mean, really slow eaters. I ate my meal for like, 50mins? But anyway, he's almost the same as me too. So i have finally found one who eats as slow as me. Not bad not bad.

Weather today was a spoiler. It wet my the lower half of my jeans, and make my shoes so damn wet. And my shoe smells now. I have gotta wash my shoes again. GRR. It's so troublesome.

Patrick finally came back from leave today. And guess what, while we were clearing the stuffs out in the drawers for him, we found this really nice bubble coca cola seat and this coca cola shape coin bank. And guess what, he agreed to let me to take home. Of course, Regina and Chen Yian were so kind as they let me take it home. I'm feeling so guilty over this actually. And it's pricking me!

Erm, i'm attached now btw. In case some of you might read my entries until *blur* Will post pictures of me and him perhaps in future yeah? He's from my attachment , same school, same course, but 1 year older than me. And what's more ironic is, he's haddad's buddy. It's such a small lil lil lil world. Hahaha.

I miss him soooo much now.

Hey all! I have decided on a Christian name for my baptism. Leticia. Which means Joyful or happy or glad in Latin. I guess my name will be a pretty long one. Cindy Leticia See Xing Li. But i love the name Leticia. So Yups.

Anyway, today's Labor Day holiday, doesn't feel like a holiday to me though. Anyway, today's the first time i woke up so late in ages. And the feeling's so good. Woke up and surfed net, basically the same websites. *yawns*

And then, went holland V with my parents for Katong Laska. Still find the normal laska in hawker centers more tasty. Went to 253 to buy rojak and eat in the car, act romantic. 3's a crowd. Hahaha.

Nway i feel i lost the ability to actually blog. Or am i having writer's block?

Yesterday went to watch fireworks with my cousins. And indeed, it was so romantic. 3R's and 1 W. Right time, Right atmosphere, right place but wrong persons. I was actually thinking of someone when i watched the fireworks at esplanade. I wished he was there with me. Yeaps, and another chance would be National Day huh?

I feel so blessed for having you in my life.